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Good People, Cool Things
Good People, Cool Things

Episode 87 · 1 month ago

Finding Joy After Tragedy with Kelsey Chittick

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

I’m probably not the first person to tell you this, but the past two years have been ROUGH. Remember when we all thought quarantine life would be, like, two weeks of hanging out at home and conserving toilet paper? Those were the days.

This episode’s guest is all too familiar with tough times and tragedy — and she’s finding joy through laughter. Kelsey Chittick is a writer, comedian, and podcast host whose husband—NFL Super Bowl champion Nate Hobgood-Chittick—died suddenly in front of their kids in a way that was, in Kelsey’s own words, “ridiculous.”

She’s channeling her story of endings and beginnings into Second Half: Surviving Loss and Finding Magic in the Missing, a story that shows how change can break and heal your heart all at once.

Good people cool things as a podcastfuture and conversations with entrepreneurs, writers, musicians andother creatives get inspired by their stories to do your own cool thing andhere's your host Joey held hi hello. How are ye welcome to good pupil coolthanks? Today's guest is Kelsey Chiddi, a writer comedian, podcast host andwidow of NFL super bowl champion, Nate Ham, good chiddock and she's the author of the book,Second, half surviving loss and finding magic in the missing which just cameout on August thirty. First men, you can pick up a copy right now, as thetitle suggests. It does dive into some pretty traumatic events, Kelsey'shusband, well I'll. Let her tell the story of it, but he unexpectedly diedand Kelsey and her two children had to navigate life going on. She does it theonly way she knows how, which is by trying to find humor and joy withinthese dark bleak moments, I'm just going to say kelse very funny, soyou're going to be laughing a bunch in this episode, even though we arechatting about some dark topics, but there's lots of good stuff throughoutthis talks. About the process of writing a book sharing it with theworld and so much more and by the end of the episode you're going to be likeyou know what I can get through these tough times got a good mind set canmake it happen like to get in touch with the show you can reach out viaJoey, at good people, cool things, com or on facebook, twitter or Instagram atGP, ct podcast, and you can always support the show via the merch shop, atgood people, cool things, com or headed on over to apple podcasts, stitcher,pod, chaser, Andy podcast player that has a review, leave a five star of you.Tell people why you, like the show you get a lot out of it. You're learningplenty you're enjoying you're laughing you're having a good time were aboutreally does help the show grow so keep on sharing all that good stuff. Intelling people the like hey. I need a podcast tolisten to you like hey good people, cool things, that's what you should belistening to, starting with this episode with Kelsey for people whodon't know who you are, and you give us your elevator pitch, and can you alsotell us the type of elevator that we're writing on? Oh, my God? Well, we areriding on an elevator that was really really good for a long timeand then it got badly stuck and it was very bumpy and we are now we havecalled for help and the doors are opening and we are about to. We areemerging on a new floor of the building and we're very happy to be there. Mystory is, you know it's not typical, but it's typical, for it turns out morepeople than we think. I married my college sweetheart and I met him in University of NorthCarolina and Chapel Hill. He was a football player. I was on the swim team.I was nineteen and we got married. He...

...went on to play six years in then on asuper bowl. We had a boy and a girl. We moved to Al Sagunto, California, whichis sort of like being in Iowa, but inside of La it's just a special little town whereneighbors know each other and everything's great, and that had a verybig impact on this town. He was really into service and I was raising the kidsand we both had jobs and we had a really good life and then not toshorten it. But I ended up going away on this spiritualretreat weekend to Jamaica. I was always scared about going out of town,because I had this feeling something was going to happen, but I feel likemom's always feel that way when they travel so nate was like you need to go. You needto go, learn and talk to these people, and that weekend my husband took mykids to a trampoline park. They were nine and twelve and he jumped a coupletimes and then dived in front of them at the age of forty two. So that was four years ago. Almost fouryears ago, he died on eleven eleven at eleven, which I find a wonderful winkfrom the universe and from him, and so all of that said the last four years Ihave been writing started just journaling and just writing the storyof our lives and how we fell in love and our family and his career and whatfootball took. You know what what what part it played in his death and then just the lessons and the gifts and thestruggle of the last four years kind of learning how to live with him, not inthis realm, and that's where we are in the book- is called Second Half surviving loss and finding magic in themissing, and it has been out for about two weeks now. Flandhers there's a lot to dive into it.That, and I just I think I just automatically made a pun there withdive into you said you were on the swim team. Do you still swim? No, I hatesometing, I actually at someone then too. I grew up in Florida and I just Ienjoyed swimming because it was. I could be with my friends and it wasoutside and it just turned out to be something that was easy for me and I Iloved it because I have a lot of energy. I need to move a lot and then I thinktitle nine got past in one thousand nine hundred and ninety four and Igraduated in ninety five, and so I was one of the first classes of women whocould go to college on a scholarship and I swam and then the last race. Idon't think I've I haven't, got my hair wet since then that was like twentythree years ago. I mean I I kid to like. Are you getting in I'm like hell? NoI've! Never ever ever going underwater again, so well, Tis Year, you've setthe the guidelines there of like this isn't happening again. So t that's niceand you mentioned how you started journaling after your husband died. wasthat something that was kind of like catalyst? was that the catalyst for itor had you kind of been writing a little bit more? And then that was likeall right now, I'm going to do this more consistently, so I've always donestand up comedy for since I've got pregnant with my son, I did stan up inLa and then I would do events you know mom events or fundraisers, and so Ialways wrote sets and I always wrote about my life and I wrote abouttransitioning from NFL to regular life,...

...and things like that, so writing wassomething I always have done. I really I have so many thoughts inthis. This place is not a good. This head is not a safe spot, and so ithelps me if I put stuff down and so from day one I was in such a haze whenhe died. I just knew I had to make sure I remembered what happened because Iknew it was an altar world and I wanted to remember whatever we had gonethrough, so we didn't whatever the lessons where I didn't want to have torevisit them. So I just wrote every morning it wasjust the first thing I did and I wrote a lot to God and I wrote a lot to nightand I wrote a lot to my future self and then, after about a year, I just kindof said well, let's see if we can put this in some type of order, and Iwanted to tell the story of nate because he was very, very, verydifferent than a regular guy for that process, because you said like a lot ofa lot of thoughts going on a lot of writing. How did you take that? And-and just still it into a book, because I think that can be just as difficultas even just writing is like okay. What do I do now? Yeah I mean I honestly I got I got help.I got a editor and if you get a good editor,they are like your Sherpa. They just kind of they take what you've gotpacked and they they help. You balance it and they organize it and they helpyou climb up to the top, and I had an amazing editors. I've never met her inreal life. We did everything you know virtually and over the phone, but wewent back and forth for about two years and she really taught me how to writeand taught me how to speak in the past and speak in thefuture and speaking the present and there's there's so much English and tomake a book good. You can't just write, I mean it's not about just the word,it's the flow and how it feels and where you take people and that really Ihad no idea how to do that, and so I knew I loved writing. But I didn't knowhow much until I realized how much work I needed- and I was excited about doingit. I was like oh I'll fix it I'll fix it and onnly. When I don't likesomething, I'm like. Oh you don't like it, I'm bad like I'm Golia, so it wasactually a really really beautiful experience. And now, at this point Ican't really remember it. It feels like a dream a little bit but yeah. That was the process, so Iself published and the responses have been absolutely exceptional, humblingyeah I was was self publishing the route that you always wanted to go. Imean I'd, never want to write a button on my husband die. So I wasn't likesomething I thought about before. For me, I nobody knew who I was. Nobodyknew anything I mean obviously nate. You know had kind of a more highprofile career, but I didn't because it was such a personal story I didn't wantto have anybody have in put on what I was writing or how I was writing andit's you know, and I've always thought this book would would spread word ofmouth and that's what's happened? I mean it's just it's continuing to blowmy mind and I think there's been a lot of loss the last two years and there'sbeen a lot of sudden loss and there's a lot of people kind of reeling fromreality and what is and what isn't and how do we do hard things? And so thetiming was, you know, maybe good for...

...people that have also had lost, whetherit be a job or finances or a partner, or you know, just a dream of a lifethat they thought they could have. I think a lot of people have felt that sothe book speaks to just how you kind of walk through that and how you get todecide. You know, like everyone says what you make of it, and on top of allof that, the self publishing route you can get the story out quicker with atraditional publisher, you're waiting like two or three years. Sometimeshere's a thing about it: Amazon, fixed everything, because you can. Basicallyyou know you just you you put something together and Amazon just put in theyprint on demand. You know have to put a ton of money up. You don't have to doanything, you just put the book up and then it delivers to people when theybuy it. It's absolutely one of the coolest things I've ever witnessedtruthfully. I'm like this is amazing. You know I always envision, like youknow stacks of books waiting for someone to buy them. It doesn't I mean.Maybe it works that way on. You know: Publishers like Jon, Gresham or peoplelike that. But for me, it's like we would like Kelsey's book, perfect andAlf goes back and fronts it and they send it to somebody you know. So so didyou get yourself a little stack at least to have it home? I feel likethat's like one of the as time the O perfect perfect. I do so many eventsnow and I you know my only hope truthfully and because, as you know,being books aren't really at the money maker. So but it's I just want it to get intothe hands of people that need it, and you know I just want them to read thestory of mate. I want my kids to remember who their dad was. I'm just sorelieved that it's on paper and that I don't have to carry it around by myself.Yeah. I think that's a much more admirable goal, or even even a realistic Al like thathundred pant this to affect people positively and touch them, and you knowa nice way, whereas people who are like oh I'll, write a book and get richwrong wrong career and truthfully the book hit to it's like its own personlike what the book will do, what it does the book. If it's good and peoplelike it, it'll it'll, get passed on and it'll be it'll, be it'll touch, peopleand it'll make them feel things, and you don't really have to worry about it.You write the book that you want to write and what it does is not yourproblem exactly and you you mentioned how you're a stand up comedian. I and Ithink that can be helpful in a situation of grief and trauma havingthat to kind of pull from to bring some laughter enjoy and but not everyone's astand up. Comedian. Some people try to be stand up comedians and maybe someonedoesn't find them funny. So there are people Yeahlin of them yeah so for for people that maybe don't havea stand up comedy background. How can they kind of find the humor in asituation that seems like it's super dark and bleak? I mean I actually thinkthe darker it is. The more you've got to you've got a twist. It I mean C K.Louis did he does it too far? Maybe but like, but I mean I don't know how youcan get through hard times without making a joke about it. I mean natedied at Sky Zone, which is a trampling park which is just a ridiculous placethat anybody would ever go unless they...

...had a birthday party which they didn'tand he died jumping during toddler time, which is just a ridiculous thing to dowith small children around. It's just a just unacceptable and then he died infront of my children and then they took him away to the hospital and when I gotthere and he was already gone, but the doctor said Oh you're, looking for natechiddock was he the one wearing the orange sticky socks? And I was likethis: Is a fucking joke it can this be? Can it be that thismight my football super bowl champion has beenthe greatest man? I've ever met just like jump during toddler time, so Ifeel like it's a wink from him to me and I feel like it's also like it givesyou some lightness inside of just what is absolute health. I just I don't know, I don't know howyou get through hard times without making fun of it. I don't I don't. Imight always say when I start my events like you know. I know that you guys arewondering like how is she doing it? How is she living with her the love of herlife and our children, and I said- and I know some of you are thinking- is itreally that bad is that bad that he's gone? I mean heloved him, but like did you really know like because my husband- and I were- Imean if he was gone, I'd be sad, but I wouldn't be like sad. You know, so I think I think we'd laugh a lot,because if not, the truth is the last four years with devastating absolutelydevastating felt like I was on a different worlddid not know how never had to live. My adult life without him had a nine andtwelve year old. Kid was widowed at forty, not a clue about finances, not aclue about what I was going to do, how I was goingto a sure these kids through it, and so we laugh a lot and we say things likewhere's nate. He hasn't been, he hasn't taken out the trash in so long. Youjust got to pile the garbage. An can't find that ass whole anyway, like I've,been looking everyone's. Like my husband came home last night, I'm likewait till you hear about mine, he hasn't been home since two thousand andseventeen. I can't vite him anywhere. So yeah I mean that's, that's the way.I've always dealt with things. My family is always like tone it down alittle bit, but it's I'm so hurt by his loss that I have to laugh thatabsolutely- and I I mean I've been, I think I've been to a sky son. I havebeen to one trampling. It was yeah just so bad there, but yeah also, perhapsthe worst smelling place, I've ever been telon or like Chiros and popcorn,and then just like kids and diapers and you're like nate is, but I will tellyou spiritually what I think. Of course I make up stories for everything, butyou know he drove for twenty minutes to get there and I'm just so glad hedidn't have a heart attack on the four of five and I love that he got to likea bouncy safe place where he could. I mean only my husband would be like I'mgoing to lay down here on the bouncy trampoline, because it could have beena whole different experience. So that gives me peace. I make up storiesthat give me peace. That's my full time job! I want to go back to your. I I...

I mean we're talking about comedy, butI always love asking any kind of performer this. What's your worst Gig as a comedian,every God, as a rain listed in La your worst Gig in La, is like thecomedy store at eleven a D. Fifty Two p m with you got five minutes andthere's like three child musters and the audience to strippers and like one guy, that's just like a a guy.That's just had a horrible day and can't go home, and you just it just youjust so like this is the lowest point of my life. You Get up and you do a setabout like suburbia, and none of these people have ever even heard of marriageor children, and it's just I mean there's a it's rough. I don't do standup anymore, it's just too brutal and it's so dirtynow I mean you got to get really blue. I cuss, but I don't go that I'm not asblue as it's just it's to me. It's just it's! So it's so bad out there most ofthe time and it's so late, I'm a morning person. So if we could do standup at like seven am, I would crush it, but by nine thirty PM I have I've gotnothing to give the world. Maybe that's like a niche market that is to morningco morning, coffee yeah, like people still need to Rye. That's true! That'strue! There we go. That's your next next business, endeavor, God gladly nowyeah I'll, take five percent royalties, but explate it's going to be huge. Youget you get like twenty after you do it like headline. You know, that's fair! That's far, the one other element of book. Writing,obviously, is the cover. It's the first thing we can see in most cases unlessthey're they get thrown the book and it like opens up on a page, but whilethey're exploring online or you know, reading the Amazon page, whatever thecase may be- covers a big element of it. So what was your process for that? Did?You know like this is what I want the cover to look like. Did you have like abunch of options that you're like all right, let's narrow it down or how didthat work? I mean I want to say that I like it ever since I was a little kid.I wanted a feather now, that's not true. I knew I wanted University of NorthCarolina colors. I knew I wanted tar heel light blue navy blue because that's where we bothwere- and I love those colors. I knew I wanted something- light and simple. Ithink Glenan Doyle's book had just come out untamed and it was really busy andreally colorful, and that gave me a lot of anxiety because I like I need likepeace and I needed nature, and so I knew a tree wasn't what I was lookingfor because it wasn't, but I knew I needed nature, but it wasn't water andI'm obsessed with birds. I feel like nate comes to me as a humming bird allthe time my friends are like. Let it go, I'm like you let it go. I see him out there drinking from mymountain, so I just did a feather. It was. Iwanted something light and something that was Floy, because I really wantedease in my life. I still do. I still work for ease more than anything andjust the sense of kind of floating through life felt not passive to me,but but enjoyable like stop resisting...

...what is and go the way the wind blowsyou because the wind is blowing you anyway, that's what it felt like for me.So I did a feather and then we did second half as a nod to his footballcareer and obviously had a football had a part in his death and to me being forty when he died and thatmy mantra for a long time was I'm going to back half this bitch. I was like okay to forty we're going totake a hard stop and we're going to recalibrate, and- and I do that becausefor my kids like I didn't- want to have a sad next forty years, I didn't wantthem to be like we had a great life until so I just wanted there to be a marketthere and then I kept going happy. Have you been to football games since or no? No? No! No! I mean I never reallywent. I mean he'd been done. When was he done? Maybe twenty seven, twentyeight, so he'd been done. Fourteen fifteen years, I never was into football anyway. Itnow it now. It has a different feeling for me when I go just because the hitsare hard. When you see when you know what it's doing to their bodies andtheir brains and my husband had sute, which is the concussion disease- and wedidn't know until he was dead, but it would have been awful if he wasstill alive and he was sick and there's a lot of guys that are still sick. Thatare alive because their hearts are fine. He was alignment, so his heart gave outactually just from over use and yeah. I mean I I'm torn withfootball because it gave us so many gifts and a lot of the greatest menthat I know or football players. The kind es mas connected was spiritual,but I don't know that I want to see kids banging their heads in ple helmetsand his. I don't even think in high school. I think if you want to do it incollege as an adult, that's your choice, but I would love to see flag football for longer or just different ways ofdoing it. I don't have answers, I'm not I'm not as angry as my mother in law.She's really pissed about football, but I I'm more. Just like hey guys can wedo better, there's a lot of guys that are hurting right now that were youknow that we forgotten, because there's just like a bunch of new guys that arecoming in. So that's kind of my feel on that yeah.I remember there was a whole. I think it was. The spin had the whole segmentof. I think it was called Jack Dup where it was just like celebrating bighits, and I'm like disgusting yeah like at the time I mean I was probably likea teenager at the time, so I'm like this is cool, but right, looking backat it now, it's like how did this make it on air like this is lawful, justpeople getting knocked out just like it's like boxing or ma like any of thatstuff, I don't get it we've just come so far to have not comeso far, yeah I have taken boxing and kick bucks and classes and that's likewith like a dummy, not yeah, not an ex right anything beyond an like a boxerto me. I was good at them. I have taken I own gloves, but that's a that was agift, not right, not right, not pursuit of any kind of consistent career, butyou said a super bowl winning. He was...

...part of a Super Bon winning team. Sodid you get to go to Disneyland we well. I grew up in Orlando and I've been toI've been to Disney a lot that I don't think we I don't. I guess they went. Ican't even remember I one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. He was withthe St Louis Rams. Cart Warner was thequarterback. That was a good super bowl e H. I l yeah. It was an amazing superbowl. I was young. I was in college still. I had like a backpack on my homeworkand I was like how do I look what I look different on those NFL wives. Wereyou doing homework during the game? That would be amazing. No, I wasn't,but I was like please win. Please win. I remember thinking like don't put himin so I don't want him to screw up and lose it for everybody. You know he waslike. Thank you for the confidence, but yeah I mean I we loved it because it's you know for alot of people. It gives you some money for a down payment. Most people are notmillionaires. Most people do not make a ton of money, they played six teams orseventeen and six years he was always barely making it. You Make Leagueminimum. Of course, it's better than most people make when they're twentythree twenty four. But the problem is when you're done, you have nose lifeskills. You've never had a job and you're used to people like worshippingyou and working six months out of the year it just like it's a real shock tothe system when you come out of that for most guys. So football was a great part of me. Mostly.What I love about football is the people that I love and there's a lot ofthem. A lot of really good men, which I know they don't get t there's a lot ofbad stories, but I promise you, the majority of those guys are just qualityyeah. I certainly have done met as many football players as you have, but Ifeel like all of my experiences with them, I'm like good guy, O guys yeah. Ithink two, if you're like a big guy, that's good at something. You don'thave to prove anything, so you can be a little softer, a little more sensitiveyou just here, they're good people yeah there a most I'm sure, there'sMassholes, but we hang out with them, there's assholes and all walks of life.So that's all a corporate America football yeah all over all over theplace. Now. Another question I like to ask isa question that you wish. You were asked more frequently and I say itbecause it's less work for me, so I'm putting putting the questioning on you,but I like yours, a lot of what's the most undervalued gift that we're allgiven as human beings. I mean, I firmly believe it's intuition. I think we knowway more than we think I think we know the right thing to do. We know theright person. We know the right next move. We know when something hard iscoming. We know when something good is coming: there's all sorts of sensorsthat we have internally in our heart space that says pay attention watch out.Don't do that you're going to that glass is going to break. You knew thatyou shouldn't. You knew that you shouldn't have done that. That was thewrong turn or yes, he's the right guy or you know. Yet this is now it's timeto get pregnant or that's the right house. I think if we get quiet throughmeditation, you start to connect to this all. Knowing like Super Power, I knew nate was goingto die two years before he died. I mean...

...everything in my body said you betterget ready, and so it sent me on a spiritual path of reading andmeditation, and that served me very well when the other shoe literallydropped- and I just I think we have been taught tothink too much and like I would never make a list of pros andcons. Let's put it that way, it's most ridiculous thing. I've ever heard ofyou know like. Should I stay with them or not like? I would just never likejust get in my re sport. I mean I hate when people say that I'm like what inGod's name, so that's what I would say is intuition.If I like that, and I the glass breaking was a little alittle on the nose I've had. I have a water bottle that has like a screw offtop, no always leave it unscrewed and twice in the last week. I've spilled itall over my desk, and I know it was going to happen. You knew what you werelike. I know that and then you like what I was Jes, especially after thefirst time I'm like. Why am I doing that again as waters just flingeverywhere? It's yeah it's interesting. We always know it's just for rushingand we don't take the time to go like wait. That's a sign like what do I needto do here? Yeah fucking people say trust your gut like there's a reasonfor it. There is a hundred reasons for it. A hundred some day some day, O I'll,learn. I'm d hear what I want tell let that be the hardest thing. The hardestlesson you have to be a, I hope, so it's just er just goes downhill fromthere. It spills a shorts out the entire house right right, I'll be funwill be good, so you mentioned to is part of intuition of knowing what'snext so what's next? Are you already working on the next book? Well, here's the tricky thing. I, thegreatest lesson of this for me, is to live here now, right here like righthere on this podcast. In this moment, I don't need to get ahead of myself. I'vespent my whole life trying to get somewhere and then it all fell apart,and I was nowhere where I would thought I would be so. I spent a lot of timethinking about what I would be doing and where we'd live and what the kidswould do and where they'd go to college, and I'm like, I don't have a clueanymore, because I as much as I knew something was coming. I don't know Ididn't know the specifics. You know I knew something, and so my work is tosurrender and to be here and what I'm doing today is this podcastand I'm enjoying the process of the book being out and I'm enjoying peoplebeing touched by it and being touched by my husband's way of walking throughthe world and just the the beauty of connecting with peoplethat are hurting and this whole world. That's opening up to me because of thisbook, and it's been, you know I always felt like it was a good story becauseit was my life and but I was shocked at what what people are saying and feeling,and it's an honor to be able to talk to them about it and go like God. I knowit sucks because it turns out there are so many people dying every day which Ihave no idea. I don't want to let...

...everybody know this, but it ishappening everywhere and I think that I just lived in a world where thosethings didn't happen to me until they did and there's a line in the book,because this song I listened to, is so we're all one phone call from our knees,and you know that was mine and I now feel way more connected to humanity waymore connected to myself and I'm way slow down. I just have I have no cluewhat's next, but I, but I expect to be surprised and delighted by it. I really like that mindset of enjoyingthe moment like what's happening now, what's hard to get here, I'm not goingto miss it. It has been real hell for a long time to finally feel joy andhappiness. I'm like I'll just stay right here. There's no reason to rushahead to some other goal like it was. This is this is good right here, I'mgood yeah. I think that's good. This is a probably a bit of a stretch, but anytime I'm in a concert. I think this too, of, like you, don't need to recordevery song on your cell phone, a hundred percent. First of all, you everlisten to a cell phone video. It's not great and you're only doing it to showsomeone else like what just be in it and then to tell them about it like theold days where you would speak of something that moved you withoutshowing them yeah. You got to see them the next time they're in tin, becausethey were great yeah yeah. Now I love that that's Ni. Now you said your kidswere twelve and nine, so does that mean one of them is driving now Jack is driving. He is sixteen and heis a bad ass. God He's awesome. The kids are exceptional. I mean thekids have made it. It was dice for a couple years, but we did every type oftherapy and thank God we had the resources to. I really think if we hadmore people that could get the help they needed the different types notjust talk whatever. It is floating in a tank, meditation, rapid eye movement,massage Crano, Sacral, capping, Journal and Grief Groups, whatever you,everybody needs something different, but we we dove into it head first and they hated me for it fora long time. But I would say those kids walk around with very little anger orresentment or fear around what happened because we worked it out and wecontinue to- and he is alive and well in our home, and it is not a forbiddenthing. It's not something that we can cry about it. We can laugh about it.Everybody can grieve the way they want so they're awesome. So he is actually.He goes to loyal a downtown, wanted to kind of make a change of paceand try something new and go somewhere where everybody didn't know him, whichwas an awesome, and my daughter is thirteen and eighth grade, which is abig deal because you're at the top of middle school. So nobody messes wit,you anymore and they've, been home for two years with Covin, so the wholefamily. We feel like we're on a high just because we went straight fromdeath to lock down and to be locked down more without your dad or yourhusband. It can get dark quick...

...internally and in your home, and I wasreally scared during coved, because I was like well, I can't die like so Iwas not my best version and to come out of that and we're allvaccinated and we are all at school and life and we wear our masks, but we feelfree again to go, do and be and have fun and that's been like. I think,we're all just that. That's a good thing about hard times, because you'reso grateful when they're over yeah. You feel so happy ye like that was rough.So that's where we are right now, yeah and then, when you look back on it, youwere like that. Wasn't so bad I like T, was it awful mean while you were likethat was bad. You know so yeah, that's where we are. I know I mean the attic is varied, pretty wellby state and maybe even by school, but I feel like some schools were almostlike: Hey parents, your kind of home teaching to like doing some homeschooling as well as our curriculum, was that something that you had to kindof hop on into or- and I wish I could tell you that I cared but I was likewhatever they give you you give you, but I'm barely hanging on here. Minewere older, so they were in seventh they in the end of six and the end ofeight and then seventh and nine. So they are well versed in technology, and you know I just I was like to theirface. I was like. I really want you to work hard behind the backs. I was like.I don't give a shit like there's no possible way, you're learning math overzoom, because I couldn't no teacher- can teach it you don't understand andyou're on snapchat, while you I mean I was just like I'm going to let I'm justWeregin to have a big pass for this entire time and then and now thatthey're back in school, I'm like recesses over like it's a game time andthey understand. But I wasn't I didn't stress about it. I'd already stressedabout so much that whether they were like sitting upstraight with their zoom and having their camera on. I mean everybody. Youknow there was a lot of people that that was their issue. I had I had olderkids and I just didn't care if you can say that on air, but I don't get a shipI was like you'll do fine and the everyone's in the same spot we're allgoing to be done. Equally, it's like I didn't. I wasn't afraid that they weregoing to get past and, like all your friends are, in the same spot likewe're all going to come back way stupider than we were two years ago. Itjust embrace it just let it happen. It's fine, I'm also just always amazedat you mentioned the technology of just like what kids have access to in school. Now,corn, yeah everything we anthers, there's a cave, sat next to me thatwould watch porn, and this was close to twenty years ago, so he wow yeah. Thatwas early. I think it a PS, maybe wow he's like. Have you seen this and I'mlike. I got a detention for asking for a Pizza Party and he is a D he's goingScot free. He just like hid it when she walked by and I'm like a Oman, Oh wowyeah. They have access to everything. I think the sooner we accept that youcannot manage it, so don't even try. I...

...mean I manage their screen time. I canI pretend to but now they're old enough. They figure things out and I'm justlike this is the world we live in, there's certain expectations in ourfamily and then as long as you hit those like. If you want to be a loserand be on your phone all day, it's going to suck when you're older there,no social skills and you'll be ostracized and you'll live in a hut andthey're like wow mom. Just because I was on like that's a hell of a leap youknow for me being on Instagram for an hour. I'm not true. It's true it is Ileesome yeah. So technology is something in thenext will be a lot heavier too. I feel like. I know they get that thing at hum.I know it's my biggest fear in life to have the hot Netcom that'd be the worstjust sound so uncomfortable. I know you just start doing like this. I know yeah,that's the car just like constantly hold it in front of me. Yeah a was verylarge in that yes, very good. First, it's a twenty two S. yeah I found the size of a billboard had be the most cumbersome, but I'dlove it I'd, love being able to see a nice screen right. All right causeyou're almost off the hook here, okay, but we always like to wrap up with atop three, and this is also something that I source from my guess. So yoursare your top three things that keep you living your best life meditation number one movement, so yogawalking, biking outside and then community I mean wonderful. Peoplesurround yourself with wonderful humans that walk through life with you. Thiswould be the three I think for the movement one have you tried like?What's the most unusual activity, you've tried to get movement? I don't nothing, I'm not fine, I'm notnot! AINTRU! I walk. I walk. I walk like a like someone, who's chasinganxiety and stress. I just walk. I live in La. I walk on the Strand a lot. Iwalk in my neighborhood a lot whenever I feel that zing inside me, I just walkit out, and so I spend a lot of time on podcast. Listening and listening tomusic and just walking as far as I can until I can burn off whatever that, wherever that feeling is, that needs tobe burnt off, get out of my head and kind of into mybody. So I do I walk and I do yoga and I'm religious about those two things,because there are two things that keep me sane. When I don't do thoseeverything goes south, so those are pretty important, but I'm notlike. Oh I pay pickable. Now, that's the new thing and when our old ass,suburban neighborhood, because the one of us can run far enough for the whole,the whole course of it Pah it and it's actually been great fun. So we do thaton Friday nights and then I used to ski. But now I've had like twelve friendsthat a school like tour, their acl. So I'm like I say what I want so I'm like we'll just keep walking. IGrit I like to dance. If I go to a club which I don't, but if I did I would do you can do dansit home to yeah. I do Ido a lot, unfortunately, for my kids,...

...but yes, yeah yeah, the pickle ball is a I've beenimpressed with how I thought it was like super foreign when we played it inhigh school, and I was like what Yeah Weird game and now it's like takin thecountry, but we have upsets. We have everything, what's just so much betterfor this age, because you don't have to run so much and and so many more peoplecan place. If you have two tennis scores, you've got sixteen people allplaying and it's like a big social thing. It's fun yeah. I was that likeat an outdoor bar last week and they as they had pickable on there, and therewere a couple of guys getting very upset while playing- and I'm like this-surely can't matter so much. I get because everyone's thinking to it's,you can't drink when you play tennis, but you can drink a tical, which is soit's amazing. It's really word, it's really great love it. Well, hopefully,there's lots of pickle ball in your future, O, let your matter God. Yes,let that be yeah! Well, Kelsey, thank you so muchfor hoping and taking the time to chat. If people want to learn more about yourcheck out a copy, the book. Where can I find you? You can go to www second halfbook com and on there you can just purchase it on either Amazon or Burnsand nobles or target you go to Amazon, obviously, and look up second half bookand my name Kelsey, and the website has some, like speakingthings and stuff like that that we've done just about our story and that's it.I hope you read it you if you need it. I hope you get it awsome. Thank you again for Co. Wealways like to wrap up with a Corny joke. I feel like. I should ask you. Ifyou've got one, I don't ever say I in part with you on a Lal. What's yourbest joke, then, what's your don't have any? I don't have I hate this type ofjob that I'm a you tell me yours. You tell me once when I just I just sawthis in a newsletter, and it made me as seems topical, based on just in wellyou'll find out when the answer, but what's a tree's least favorite month.What's the trees may September a shit, so that's unfortunate, it's a good justcordatus cor. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. Good people, coolthings is produced in Austin Texas. If you were a fan of this episode, goahead and hit that follow button that helps more people here, the show youcan send me a message: Joey, a good people, cool things com. Thank you toall of the guests who have been on good people, cool things check on all theold episodes, the good people cool thing com. As always, thank you forlistening and have a wonderful day. t.

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