Good People, Cool Things
Good People, Cool Things

Episode 87 · 11 months ago

87: Finding Joy After Tragedy with Kelsey Chittick

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

I’m probably not the first person to tell you this, but the past two years have been ROUGH. Remember when we all thought quarantine life would be, like, two weeks of hanging out at home and conserving toilet paper? Those were the days. 

This episode’s guest is all too familiar with tough times and tragedy — and she’s finding joy through laughter. Kelsey Chittick is a writer, comedian, and podcast host whose husband—NFL Super Bowl champion Nate Hobgood-Chittick—died suddenly in front of their kids in a way that was, in Kelsey’s own words, “ridiculous.” 

She’s channeling her story of endings and beginnings into Second Half: Surviving Loss and Finding Magic in the Missing, a story that shows how change can break and heal your heart all at once.

Good people cool things as a podcast feature and conversations with entrepreneurs, writers, musicians and other creatives. Get inspired by their stories to do your own cool thing. And here's your host, Joey held. Hi. Hello, how are you? Welcome to good people, cool things. Today's guest is Kelsey Chittick, a writer, comedian, podcast host and widow of NFL super bowl champion Nate Hobgood Shittick, and she's the author of the book second half, surviving loss and finding magic in the missing, which just came out on August thirty one, which means you can pick up a copy right now. As the title suggests, it does dive into some pretty traumatic events. Kelsey's husband, well, I'll let her tell the story of it, but he unexpectedly died and Kelsey and her two children had to navigate life going on. She does it the only way she knows how, which is by trying to find humor enjoy within these dark, bleak moments. I'm just going to say Kelsey's very funny, so you're going to be laughing a bunch of this episode, even though we are chatting about some dark topics. But there's lots of good stuff throughout this talks about the process of writing a book, sharing it with the world and so much more, and I think by the end of the episode you're going to be like, you know what, I can get through these tough times good a good mindset can make it happen. Like to get in touch with the show, you can reach out via joey at good people, cool thingscom or on facebook, twitter or Instagram at GPCT podcast. And you can always support the show via the merch shop at good people, cool thingscom or headed on over to apple podcasts, stitcher, pod Chaser, any podcast player that has a review. Leave a five star review. Tell people why you like the show. You get a lot out of it. You're learning plenty, you're enjoying, you're laughing, you're having a good time. We're about really does help the show grow. So keep on sharing all that good stuff and telling people. Well, they're like, Hey, I need a podcast to listen to. You like, Hey, good people, cool things, that's what you should be listening to, starting with this episode with Kelsey. For people who don't know who you are, can you give us your elevator pitch and can you also tell us the type of elevator that we're writing on. Oh my God, well, we are writing on an elevator that was really, really good for a long time and then it got badly stuck and it was very bumpy. And we are now. We have called for help and the doors are opening and we are about to we are emerging on a new floor of the building and we're very happy to be there. My story is, you know, it's not typical, but it's typical for, it turns out, more people than we think. I married my college sweetheart in I met him in University of most Carolina and Chupple Hill. He was a football player, I was on the swim team. I was nineteen and we got married. He went on to play six years in the NFL,...

...won a super bowl. We had a boy and a girl. We moved to El Segundo, California, which is sort of like being an Iowa but inside of La. It's just a special little town where neighbors know each other and everything's great and they had a very big impact on this town. He was really into service and I was raising two kids and we both had jobs and we had a really good life. And then, not to shorten it, but I ended up going away on this spiritual retreat weekend to Jamaica. I was always scared about going out of town because I had this feeling something was going to happen, but I feel like mom's always feel that way when they travel. So Mat was like you need to go, you need to go learn and talk to these people. And that weekend my husband took my kids to a trampoline park. They were nine and twelve and he jumped a couple times and then died in front of them at the age of forty two. So that was four years ago. Almost four years ago he died on eleven at eleven, which I find a wonderful wink from the universe and from him. And so, all of that said, the last four years I have been writing. Started just journaling and just writing the story of our lives and how we fell in love and our family and his career and what football took, you know what, what what part it played in his death, and then just the lessons and the gifts and the struggle of the last four years kind of learning how to live with him not in this room. And that's we are and the book is called Second Half. Surviving loss and finding magic in the misscene and it has been out for about two weeks now. Fun. There's there's a lot to dive into it that and Oh, I just I think I just automatically made a pun there with dive into you said you were on the swim team. Do you still swim? No, I hate swimming. I actually hate something. Then too, I grew up in Florida and I just I enjoyed swimming because it was I could be with my friends and it was outside and it just turned out to be something that was easy for me and I loved it because I have a lot of energy. I need to move a lot. And then I think title nine got passed in one thousand nine hundred and ninety four and I graduated in ninety five, and so I was one of the first classes of women who could go to college on the scholarship and I swam. And then the last race, I don't think I I haven't got my hair wet since then. I was like twenty three years ago. I mean, I I kid de like are you getting in on my hell now I've never, ever ever going underwater again. So well, let's hear you set the the guidelines. There of like this isn't happening again. So now it's not exactly. That's nice. And you mentioned how you started journaling after your husband died. was that something that was kind of like catalyst? was that the catalyst for it, or had you kind of been writing a little bit more and then that was like all right, now I'm going to do this more consistently. So I've always done stand up comedy, for since I've got pregnant with my son, I did stand up in La and then I would do events, you know, mom events or fundraisers, and so I aways wrote sets and I always wrote about my life and I wrote about transitioning from the NFL to regular life and things...

...like that. So writing with something I always had done. I really I have so many thoughts in this this place is not a good this head is not a safe spot, and so it helps me if I put stuff down. And so from day one I was in such a haze when he died. I just knew I had to make sure I remembered what happened because I knew it was an altar world and I wanted to remember whatever we had gone through. So we didn't whatever the lessons were. I didn't want to have to revisit them. So I just wrote every morning. It was just the first thing I did, and I wrote a lot to God and I wrote a lot to nate and I wrote a lot to my future self and then after about a year, I just kind of said, well, let's see if we can put this in some type of order and I wanted to tell the story of nate because he was very, very, very different than a regular guy. For that process, because you said like a lot of a lot of thoughts going on, a lot of writing. How did you take that and and just still it into a book, because I think that can be just as difficult as even just writing. Is like, okay, what do I do now? Yeah, I mean I honestly I guy got help. I got a editor, and if you get a good editor, they are like your Serpa. They just kind of they take what you've got packed and they they help you balance it and they organize it and they help you climb up to the top. And I had an amazing editors. I've never met her in real life. We did everything, you know, virtually and over the phone, but we went back and forth for about two years and she really taught me how to write and taught me how to speak in the past and speak in the future and speak in the present. And there's there's so much English. And to make a book good, you can't just write. I mean it's not about just the words, it's the flow and how it feels and where you take people, and that really I had no idea how to do that. And so I knew I loved writing, but I didn't know how much. Until I realized how much work I needed and I was excited about doing it, I was like, Oh, I'll fix it, I'll fix it, and normally when I don't like something, I'm like, Oh, you don't like it. On that like, I'm well, I got so it was actually a really, really beautiful experience and now at this point I can't really remember it. It feels like a dream a little bit. But yeah, that was the process. So I self published and the responses have been absolutely exceptional and humbling. Yeah, and was self publishing the route that you always wanted to go? I mean I'd never wanted to write a book until my husband died. So wasn't like something I thought about before. For me, I nobody knew who I was, nobody knew anything. I mean obviously nate, you know, had kind of a more high profile career, but I didn't because it was such a personal story. I didn't want to have anybody have input on what I was writing or how I was writing. And it's, you know, and I've always thought this book would would spread word of mouth, and that's what's happened. I mean it's just it's continuing to blow my mind and I think there's been a lot of loss the last two years and there's been a lot of sudden loss and there's a lot of people kind of reeling from reality and what is and what isn't and how do we do hard things, and so the timing was, you...

...know, maybe good for people that have also had lost, whether it be a job or finances or a partner or, you know, just a dream of a life that they thought they could have. I think a lot of people have felt that. So the book speaks to just how you kind of walk through that and how you get to decide, you know, like everyone says, what you make of it. And on top of all of that, the self publishing route you can get the story out quicker. With a traditional publisher you're waiting like two or three years. Sometimes. Here's the thing about it. Amazon fixed everything because you can basically, you know, you just you put something together and Amazon just puts in. They print on demand. You have to put a ton of money up. You don't have to do anything, you just put the book up and then it delivers to people when they buy it. It's absolutely one of the coolest things I've ever witnessed. Truthfully, I'm like, this is amazing. You know, I always envisioned like, you know, stacks of books waiting for someone to buy them. It doesn't. I mean maybe it works that way on you know, publishers like Gen Grisham more people like that, but for me it's like we would like Kelsey's book perfect, and Elf goes back and prints it and they send it to somebody, you know. So so did you get yourself a little stack at least to have at home? I feel like that's like one of the last times that perfect perfect. I do so many events now and I you know, my only hope, truthfully, and because, as you know, being books aren't really the money maker. So, but it's by just want it to get into the hands of people that need it and you know, I just want them to read the story of Nate. I want my kids to remember who their dad was. I'm just so relieved that it's on paper and that I don't have to carry it around by myself. Yeah, I think that's a much more admirable goal, or even even a realistical like that. A hundred pers want this to affect people positively and touch them and, you know, a nice way, whereas people who are like, Oh, I'll write a book and get rich, wrong, wrong career, and truthfully, the book hits it's like its own person like. But the book will do what it does. The book, if it's good and people like it, it'll it'll get passed on and it'll be. It'll be. It'll touch people and it'll make them feel things and you don't really have to worry about it. You write the book that you want to write and what it does is not your problem exactly. And you you mentioned how you're a standup comedian and I think that can be helpful in a situation of grief and trauma, having that to kind of pull from, to bring some laughter and enjoy in. But not everyone's a standup comedian. Some people try to be standup comedians and maybe someone doesn't find them funny. So there a lot of people, yeah, find funny. There's see the millions of them. Yeah. So for for people that maybe don't have a standup comedy background, how can they kind of find the humor in a situation that seems like it's super dark and bleak? I mean I actually think the darker it is, the more you've got to you've got a twisted I mean see k Luis did. He does it too far, maybe, but like but, I mean I don't know how you can get through hard time without making a joke about it. I mean nate died at at Sky Zone, which is a trampling park, which is just a ridiculous place that anybody would ever go unless they had...

...a birthday party, which they didn't. And he died jumping during toddler time, which is just a ridiculous thing to do with small children around. It's just it's just unacceptable. And then he died in front of my children and then they took him away to the hospital and when I got there and he was already gone, but I the doctor said, Oh, you're looking for Nate Chittick. Was He the one wearing the orange sticky socks and I was like, this is a fucking joke. I can this be? Can it be that this might my my football super bowl champion husband, the greatest man I've ever met, just like jump during toddler time? So I feel like it's a wink from him to me and I feel like it's also like it gives you some lightness inside of just what is absolute hell. I just I don't know. I don't know how you get through hard times without making fun of it. I don't, I don't. I'm I always say when I start my events, like you know, I know that you guys are wondering, like how is she doing it? How is she living with her at the love of her life and their children? And I said, and I know some of you are thinking, is it really that bad? Is it that bad that he's gone? I mean he loved him, but like, did you really know, like because my husband and I we're I mean, if he was gone, I'd be sad, but I wouldn't be like sad, you know. So I think I think we'd laugh a lot because if not, the truth is the last four years were devastating, absolutely devastating. Felt like I was on a different world. Did Not know how, never had lived my adult life without him. Had A nine and twelve year old kid. was widowed at forty. Not a clue about finances, not a clue about what I was going to do. How is going to rusher these kids through it? And so we laugh a lot and we say things like where's nate? He hasn't been he hasn't taken out the trash and so long. You just got a pile of garbage. Of the half. I find that asshole anywhere. Like I've been looking. Everyone's like my husband came home last night. I'm like, wait till you hear about mine. He hasn't been home since two thousand and seventeen. I gave right him anywhere. So yeah, I mean that's that's the way I've always dealt with things. My family's always like tone it down a little bit, but it's I'm so hurt by his loss that I have to laugh. That make that's yeah, yeah, absolutely, and I I mean I've been, I think I've been to a skyzone. I have been to one trampolin part and it we yeah, just there. Yeah, also perhaps the worst smelling place I've ever been tell on earth. Yeah, like Turos and popcorn, and then just like kids and diapers and you're like nate is. But I will tell you spiritually what I think. Not, of course I make up stories for everything. But you know, he drove for twenty minutes to get there and I'm just so glad he didn't have a heart attack on the four or five and I love that he got to like a Bouncy, safe place where he could. I mean, only my husband would be like, I'm going to lay down here on the bouncy trampoline because it could have been a whole different experience. So that that gives me peace. I make up stories that give me peace. That's my full time job. I want to go back to your well,...

I mean we're talking about comedy, but I always love asking any kind of performer this. What's your worst Gig as a comedian? Every GIG is a GREDIENTS LISTIG IN LA. Your worst GIG in La is like the comedy store at fifty two PM with you got five minutes and there's like three child lesters and the audience, two strippers and like one guy. That's just like a guy that's just had a horrible day and can't go home and you just it, just you just are like this is the lowest point of my life. You Get up and you do a set about like suburbia and none of these people have ever even heard of marriage or children, and it's just, I mean there's at it's rough. I don't do stand up anymore. It's just too brutal and it's so dirty. Now mean you got to get really blue. I cuss, but I don't go that. I'm not as blue as it just it's to me. It's just it's so it's so bad out there most of the time and it's so late. I'm a morning person, so if we could do stand up at like seven am, I would crush it. But by thirty PM I have I've got nothing to give the world. Maybe that's like a niche market. That like a morning come of morning coffee. Yeah, like people start. That's true. That's true. There we go. That's your next, next business endeavor. God, I'm glad we know. Yep, I'll take five percent royalties, but the exactly plays. It's going to be huge. You get that, you get like twenty dollars after you do like headline. You know that's fair. That's fair. The one other element of book writing, obviously, is the cover. It's the first thing people see in most cases, unless they're they get thrown the book and it like opens up on a page, but while they're exploring online or, you know, reading the Amazon page, whatever the case may be, covers a big element of it. So what was your process for that? Did you know like this is what I want the cover to look like? Did you have like a bunch of options that you're like, all right, let's narrow it down, or how did that work? I mean, I want to say that I like, ever since I was a little kid, I wanted a feather. Now that's not true. I knew I wanted university in North Carolina colors. I knew I wanted tar heel, light blue, navy blue, because that's where we both were and I love those colors. I knew I wanted something light and simple. I think Glenn and Doyle's book had just come out, untamed, and it was really busy and really colorful and that gave me a lot of anxiety because I like I need like peace and I needed nature, and so I knew a tree wasn't what I was looking for because it wasn't. But I knew I needed nature, but it wasn't water, and I'm obsessed with birds. I feel like nate comes to me as a humming bird all the time. My friends are like let it go. I'm like you let it go. I see him out there drinking from my rountain. So I just did a feather. It was I wanted something light and something that was flowy, because I were he wanted ease in my life. I still do. I still work for ease more than anything, and just the sense of kind of floating through life felt not passive to...

...me, but but enjoyable, like stop resisting what is and go the way the wind blows you, because the wind is blowing you anyway. That's what it felt like for me. So I did a feather and then we did second half as a nod to his football career and obviously had football had a part in his death and to me being forty when he died, and that my mantra for a long time was I'm going to back half this bitch. I was like okay, so forty, we're going to take a hard stop and we're going to recalibrate and and I did that because for my kids, like I didn't want to have a sad and that next forty years. I didn't want them to be like we had a great life until so I just wanted there to be a marker there and then I kept going happy. Have you been to football games since or now? Now, now, I mean I never really went. I mean he's He'd been done. When was he done? Maybe twenty seven, twenty eight, so he'd been done fourteen, fifteen years. I never was into football anyway. It now at now it has a different feeling for me when I go, just because I the hits are hard when you see, when you know what it's do into their bodies and their brains. And my husband had Cte, which is the concussion disease, and we didn't know until he was dead, but it would have been awful if he was still alive and he was sick. And there's a lot of guys that are still sick, that are alive because their heart are fine, use alignment. So is his heart gave out actually, just from overuse. And Yeah, I mean I'm torn with football because it gave us so many gifts and a lot of the greatest men that I know or football players the kindest and was connected and was spiritual, but I don't know that I want to see Kids Banging Their Heads In pee wee helmets and high I don't even think in high school. I think if you want to do it in college as an adult, that's your choice, but I would love to see flag football for longer or just different ways of doing it. I don't have answers. I'm not I'm not as angry as my mother in law. She's really pissed about football, but I'm more just like hey, guys, can we do better? There's a lot of guys that are hurting right now that were, you know, that we've forgotten because there's just like a bunch of new guys that are coming in. So that's kind of my feel on that. Yeah, I remember there was a whole I think was the ESPN had the whole segment of I think it's called jacked up, where it was just like celebrating big hits and I'm like disgusting. Yeah, like at the time, I mean I was probably like a teenager at the time, so I'm like this is cool, but right looking back at it now, it's like how did this make it on air like this is looks awful. Just people getting knocked out, just like it's it's like boxing or m like any of that stuff. I don't get it. We've just come so far to have not come so far. Yeah, I have taken boxing and kickboxing classes and that's like with like a dummy, not yet, not an extrasson anything beyond seem like a boxer to me. I was good at that by have taken I own gloves, but that's that was a gift. Not Right. Not Right, not pursuit of any kind of consistent career. But you said a...

...super bowl winning he was part of a super bow winning team. So did you get to go to Disneyland? We well, I grew up in Orlando, so I've been to I've been to Disney a lot. That I don't think. We don't. I guess they went. I can't even remember. It was one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. He was with the St Louis Rams. Kurt Warner was a quarterback. Was a good super bowl, but for meal? Yeah, it was an amazing super bowl. I was young, I was in college still. I had like a backpack in my homework and I was like, how do I look? Well, I look different from those NFL wives. Were you doing homework during the game? That would be amazing. Now I wanted but I was like please win, please win. I remember to thinking I don't put him in so I don't want him to grow up and lose it for everybody, you know. He was like thank you for the confidence, but yeah, I mean I we loved it because it's, you know, for a lot of people it gives you some money for a down payment and most people are not millionaires. Most people do not make a ton of money. They played six teams or seventeen s and six years. He was always barely making it. You Make League minimum. Of course it's better than most people make when they're twenty three, twenty four, but the problem is when you're done, you have no life skills, you've never had a job and you're used to people like worshiping you and working to six months out of the year. It just like it's a real shock to the system when you come out of that for most guys. So football was a great part of me. Mostly what I love about football as the people that I love, and there's a lot of them, a lot of really good men, which I know they don't get that there's a lot of bad stories, but I promise you the majority of those guys are just quality. Yeah, I certainly have not met as many football players as you have, but I feel like all of my experiences with them, I'm like, good guys, guys. Yeah, I think two of you like a big guy that's good at something. You don't have to prove anything, so you can be a little softer, a little more sensitive. You just there. They're good people. Yeah, I'm most I'm sure there's some assholes, but we hang out with them. There's assholes in all walks of life that there's assholes of Corporate America football. Yeah, well, over, all over the place. Now another question I like to ask is a question that you wish you were asked more frequently, and I say it because it's less work for me, so I'm putting putting the questioning on you, but I liked yours a lot. Of what's the most undervalued gift that we're all given as human beings? I mean, I firmly believe it's intuition. I think we know way more than we think. I think we know the right thing to do. We know the right person, we know the right next move. We know when something hard is coming, we know when something good is coming. There's all sorts of sensors that we have internally in our heart space that says pay attention, watch out, don't do that, you're going to that glass is going to break. You knew that you shouldn't you knew that you shouldn't have done that. That was the wrong turn. or Yes, he's the right guy, or you know, Yep, this is now, it's time to get pregnant, or that's the right house. I think if we get quiet through meditation, you start to connect to this all knowing like superpower. I knew nate was going to die two years before he died. I...

...mean I everything in my body said you better get ready, and so it sent me on a spiritual path of reading and meditation, and that that served me very well when the other shoe literally dropped and I just I think we have been taught to think too much and like I would never make a list of pros and cons, let's put it that way. It's most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, you know, like should I stay with them or not? Like I was just never like just get fir spoored. I mean, I hate when people say that. I'm like what God's name? So that's what I would say, is intuition. That's I like the end the glass breaking was a little, a little on the nose. I've had I have a water bottle that has like a screw off top and I'll always leave it on the screwed and twice in the last week I've spilled it all over my desk because it was going to happen. Yeah, you knew what you were like. I know that. And then you like what was Jesus? Especially after the first time, I'm like, why about they again, as waters just flooding everywhere? It's yeah, since did we always know? Yeah, it's just we're rushing and we don't take the time to go like wait, that's a sign, like what do I need to do here? Yeah, it's like can people say trust your gut, like there's a reason for there is a hundred reasons for it, a hundred some day, some day. Well, I'll learn it. Your water won't. Still. Let's let that be the hardest thing, the hardest lesson you have today. I pray, I hope so. It's just everything just goes downhill from there. It spills right shorts out the entire house. Right right. I'll be fine, we'll be good. So you mentioned two. is part of intuition, of knowing what's next. So what's next? You're already working on the next book. Well, here's the tricky thing. I the greatest lesson of this for me is to live here now, right here, like right here on this podcast, in this moment. I don't need to get ahead of myself. I've spent my whole life trying to get somewhere and then it all fell apart and I was nowhere where I ever thought I would be. So I spent a lot of time thinking about what I would be doing and where we'd live and what the kids would do and where they'd go to college. And I'm like, I don't have a clue anymore because I as much as I knew something was coming, I don't know. I didn't know the specifics. You know, I knew something. And so my work is to surrender and to be here, and what I'm doing today is this podcast and I'm enjoying the process of the book being out and I'm enjoying people being touched by it and being touched by my husband's way of walking through the world and just the beauty of connecting with people that are hurting and this whole world that's opening up to me because of this book and it's been you know, I always felt like it was a good story because it was my life and but I was shocked at what what people are saying and feeling and it's an honor to be able to talk to them about it and go like God, I know it sucks, because it turns out there are so many people dying every day, which I had no it. I don't want to let everybody know this, but...

...it is happening everywhere and I think that I just lived in a world where those things didn't happen to me until they did. And there's a line in the book, because this song I listened to it is they were all one phone call from our knees, and you know, that was mine. And I now feel way more connected to humanity, way more connected to myself, and I'm way slowed down. I just have no I have no clue what's next, but I but I expect to be surprised and delighted by it. I really like that mindset of enjoying the moment, like what's happening now, or try to get here? I'm not going to miss it. This has been real hell for a long time to finally feel joy and happiness. I'm like, I'll just stay right here. There's no reason to rush ahead to some other goal like it was. This is this is good, right here, I'm good. Yeah, I think that's good. This is a probably a bit of a stretch, but anytime I'm at a concert I think this too. Of like you don't need to record every song on your cell phone a hundred percent of all. You ever listen to a cell phone video? It's not great and you're only doing it to show someone else like what just be in it and then to tell them about it, like the old days where you would speak of something that moved you. Yeah, without showing them. Okay, yeah, you got to see them the next and they're in time because they were great. Yeah, yeah, no, I love that. SMART. Now you said your kids were twelve and nine. So does that mean one of them is driving? Now? Jack is driving. He is sixteen and he is a Badass Kid. He's awesome. The kids are exceptional. I mean the kids have made it. It was dicey for a couple years, but we did every type of therapy and thank God we had the resources to I really think if we had more people that could get the help they needed, the different types, not just talk, whatever it is, floating in a tank, meditation, rapid eye movement, massage, craniosacral tapping, journal in grief groups, whatever you everybody needs something different, but we we dove into it head first and they hated me for it for a long time, but I would say those kids walk around with very little anger or resentment or fear around what happened, because we worked it out and we continue to and he is alive and well in our home and it is not a forbidden thing. It's not something that we can cry about it, we can laugh about it. Everybody can grieve the way they want. So they're awesome. So he is actually a he goes to loil downtown. Wanted to kind of make a change of pace and try something new and go somewhere where everybody didn't know him, which was an awesome and my daughter is thirteen and eighth grade, which is a big deal because you're the top of middle school, so nobody messes you anymore. And they've been home for two years with covid. So the whole family, we feel like we're on a high just because we went straight from death to lockdown, and to be locked down without your dad or your husband, they can get dark quick internally and in your...

...home. And I was really scared during covid because I was like well, I can't die like so I was not my best version. And to come out of that and we're all vaccinated and we are all at school and life and we wear our masks, but we feel free again to go do and be and have fun, and that's been like I think we're all just that's that's a good thing about hard times because you're so grateful when it over. Yeah, you feel so happy, like full. That was rough. So that's where we are right now. Yeah, then when you look back on it, you were like that wasn't so bad, was that? Was it awful? Mean, while you were like that was bad, you know. So, yeah, that's where we are. I know. I mean I think that's varied pretty well by state and maybe even by school, but I feel like some schools were almost like hey, parents, you're kind of home teaching to like doing some homeschooling as well as our curriculum. was that something that you had to kind of hop on into or we're then? I wish I could tell you that I cared, but I was like whatever they give you give you, but I'm barely hanging on here. Mine were older, so I they were in seventh. They in the end of six and the end of eight and then seventh and mine. So they are well versed in technology and you know, I just I was like to their face, I was like, I really want you to work hard. Behind their backs, I was like I don't give a shit. I get there's no possible way you're learning math over zoom, because I couldn't. No teacher can teach it. You don't understand and you're on snapchat while you're I mean I I was just like I'm going to let I'm just we're going to have a big pass for this entire time and then and now that they're back in school, I'm like recesses over, like it's a game time and they understand. But I wasn't. I didn't stress about it. I'd already stressed about so much that whether they were like sitting up straight with their zoom and having a camera on. I mean everybody, you know, there was a lot of people that that was their issue. I had I had older kids and I just didn't care. Yeah, if you can say that on air, but I don't give a shit. I was like, you'll be fine in the everyone's in the same spot. We're all going to be dumb equally. It's like I didn't I wasn't afraid that they were going to get passed. I'm like, all your friends are in the same spot, like we're all going to come back way stupider than we were two years ago. It. Just embrace it. Yeah, just let it happened. It's fine. I'm also just always amazed at you mentioned the technology of just like what kids have access to in school now. Horn. Yeah, everything. Well, we unblievable. There was a sets there's a kid who sat next to me that would watch porn and this was close to twenty years ago. So he wow, yeah, that was earlier. I think it had a PSP maybe wow. He's like have you seen this? And I'm like, I got a attention for asking for a Pizza Party and he's going to good, he's going Scott free. He just like hide it when she walked by and I'm like, Amem Man, Oh wow, yeah, they have access to everything. I think the sooner we accept that. You cannot manage it, so don't even try.

I mean I manage their screen time, I mean I pretend to, but now they're old enough they figure things out and I'm just like, this is the world we live in. There's certain expectations in our family and then, as long as you hit those, like if you want to be a loser and be on your phone all day, it's going to suck when you're older, no social skills and you'll be ostracized and you'll live in a hut. And they're like wow, mom, just because I was on like that's a hell of a leap, you know, for me being on Instagram for an hour. I'm like true, it's true. It is is slipper slope. Yeah, so technology something and their necks will be a lot heavier to I feel like. I know they get that thing, that Hump. You know, it's my biggest fear in life to have about the neck hump. That'd be the worst. Just sounds so uncomfortable. I know you have dessert doing like this. I know. Yeah, that's the key. Are just like constantly hold it in front of me. Yeah, exactly. It's very large in that yes, really good, like a poster. It's a twenty two s yeah, I phone it's the size of a billboard. That'd be the most cumbersome, but I'd love it. I'd love big, able to see a nice screen. Right, all right, Ke'll see, are almost off the hook here. Okay. Well, we always like to wrap up with a top three, and this is also something that I source from my guests. So yours are your top three things that keep you living your best life? Meditation, Number One. Movement, so yoga, walking, biking outside and then community, mean wonderful people. Surround yourself with wonderful humans that walk through life with you. As would be the three, I think. For the movement one, have you tried, like what's the most unusual activity you've tried to get movement? I don't nothing. I'm not fine, I'm not I'm not ad interest. I walk. I walk. I walk like a like someone who's chasing anxiety and stress. I just walk. I live in La I walk on the Strand a lot. I walk in my neighborhood a lot. Whenever I feel that zing inside me, I just walk it out, and so I spend a lot of time on podcast listening and listening to music and just walking as far as I can until I can burn off whatever that wherever that feeling is that needs to be burnt off, get out of my head and kind of into my body. So do I walk and I do yoga and I'm religious about those two things because there are two things that keep me saying when I don't do those, everything goes south. So those are pretty important. But I'm not like, Oh, I've put pickleball now that's the new thing in our own our old as suburban neighborhood, because if none of us can run far enough for the whole the whole course of the half it and it's actually been great fun. So we do that on Friday nights. And then I used to ski, but now I've had like twelve friends that have score like tour the ACL so I'm like, I said what I want. So I'm like, we'll just keep walking. Great. I like to dance if I go to a club, which I don't, but if I did I would dance. You can do dance Agat home too. Yeah, I do. I do a lot, unfortunately for my kids.

But yes, yeah, yeah, the pickle ball is a I've been impressed with how I thought it was like super foreign when we played it in high school and I was like, what is that weird game, and now it's like taken the country by we have outfits, we have everything. Well's just so much better for this age because you don't have to run so much and you and so many more people can play. So if you have to tennis court, I you've got sixteen people all playing. It's like a big social thing. It's fun. Yeah, I was that like a outdoor bar last week and they had, yes, they had pickle ball on there and there were a couple of guys getting very upset while playing and I'm like this surely can't matter so much. I get because everyone's drinking to it's you can't drink when you play tennis, but you can drink during picketball, which is so it's amazing. It's really where. It's really great. Love it. Well, hopefully there's lots of pickle ball in your future, but your mouth to gods. But that, yeah, well, Kelsey, thank you so much for hopping on and taking the time to chat. If people want to learn more about your check out a copy of the book. Where can they find you? You can go to wwwd Bookcom and on there. You can just purchase it on you know, Amazon or barns and nobles are target it. You go to Amazon, obviously, and look up second half book and my name, Kelsey, and the website has some like speaking things and stuff like that that we've done just about our story. And that's it. I hope you read it. You if you need it. I hope you get it awesome. Well, thank you again for Com we always like to wrap up with a Corny joke. I feel like I should ask you if you've got one. I don't ever say anything corner when you on. No Way. Well, what's your best joke, then? What's your I don't have any. I don't have it. I hate this type of you have that image joke? You tell me yours. You tell me. Mind's what I just read. I just saw this in a newsletter and it made me laugh. Seems topical based on just come. Well, you'll find out when the answer. But what's a trees least favorite month? It's a trees may September. Oh Shit, so that's unfortunate. So good, just Corney, just CORAC. Well, thank you for having me. I appreciate it. Good people cool things is produced in Austin, Texas. If you were a fan of this episode, go ahead and hit that follow button. That helps more people here the show. You can send me a message Joey at good people cool thingscom. Thank you to all of the guests who have been on good people cool things and check out all the old episodes via good people cool thingscom. As always, thank you for listening and have a wonderful day.

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