Good People, Cool Things
Good People, Cool Things

Episode 127 · 3 months ago

127: How to Improve Your Mindset and Have Personal Growth with Elisa di Napoli

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

As a performer, Elisa di Napoli enjoyed creating and sharing stories through her music. But with severe performance anxiety, it became nearly impossible to actually take the stage. Elisa tried drinking wine, using beta blockers, and taking improv classes, but nothing worked until she learned how to be kind to herself.

Today, she’s an artist coach, hypnotherapist, and multi-instrumentalist singer-songwriter, producing 12 albums under the stage name Elyssa Vulpes. She helps others approach their next journey with the right mindset, allowing them to overcome stage fright or whatever obstacles are in the way.

Good people cool things as a condcast feature in conversations with entrepreneurs, writers, musicians and other creatives. Get inspired by their stories to do your own cool thing, and here's your host, Joey held. Welcome to good people, cool things. Today's guest is Elisa di Napoli, a holistic life coach who helps people with creativity, overcoming performance anxiety, getting into the right mindset and working on their mental health and personal development. Elsa's like me and that she's got about seven, thirty five different things that she's working on at any given time. She's got a book, she's had a podcast, she's a musician with a dozen albums and more on the way. So we're talking about all of that good stuff. We're talking about how you can get yourself in the right mindset, whether you've got a public speaking performance of some kind coming up. Maybe it's like me, you've got a work presentation on a topic that you're not super well versed in he and you want to kind of get rid of that negative mindset and accomplish what you're trying to do. Stage Fright. That's the thing in the past. We're also talking about at last's career as a musician. One of the things she's learned along the way around both writing music and promoting it, which is always probably the hardest thing, I would say, for anyone to do, is promoting themselves talking about themselves, unless you're super self centered and then it comes across easily. But you've really got to be more selfish with reaching out and sharing your creative work with other people, because that's the best way for people to learn about it. I wrote a book eight or nine months ago, whatever the math is, and I still tell people. I feel like I promote that book to death. It's called kind of kind of weird short stories on life's relationships, and yet I'll still bring it up to people and they're like, Oh, you wrote a book, and I say, where have you been for the past nine months? We've had discussions about this. We just gonna Hammer it in again and again. So you tell me if you haven't shared what you're working with with someone. Tell me. Joey at good people, cool things dot com. And as a bonus, while you're listening to this episode, head on over to Elisa Dinapoli dot com, slash good people and get a free book that she has given just for you. Listening right now. You get a free book. I mean what, what magic is that? My Book is not free, Lisa's is free. So if you only have to get one, get Elsa's if you can get to when I get both of them. I mean, it's reading, it's great, it's wonderful, just like this conversation with Elisa. Give us your name and your elevator pitch and the type elevator that we're writing on. Sure. So my name is Lisa Dinapoli and I'm a mindset coach. I'm also an author and a musician and I help artists Um command the stage, magnify the ASENS UM, defeat stage nerves so that they can be at ease, more confident and actually let the music, or if it's not music, perhaps it might be a play or something they are deliving on stage. They can allow that to come through and shine through without the ego getting in the way. I think, like you know, I'm a musician and artists are kind of terms I think everyone's familiar with, but mindset coach might be new to some people. So is that, I guess, a two part question, kind of how do you help people with that? And is that it was like being in the right mindset and overcoming these fears. Is That's something that you've always just been really good at, or did you kind of have to learn how to do that? To you? Yeah, good question. I I definitely am learning still. That's why I do the job I do, because I believe that we teach the best what we need to learn. So, Um, you've you've got to learn something if you want to teach it, and so it's kind of like a mlping...

...other people, but I'm also helping myself while I do that, because, Um, a mindset coach basically is someone who specializes in mindset, and that's actually one of the most important things in life, I think, to be able to really Um, face any situation in the best possible way. Uh. And I personally use a lot of guarding, visualization, UM techniques, and not only Um what is used at what is usually known as a hypnosis hypnotherapist, of a hypotherapy. I've been a hypnotherapist for a long time, um, but I kind of changed my um title to mind set coach just because there's a lot of weight Um, there's a lot of misconceptions around hypnosis and I kind of got sick of it. You know, I got sick of this sort of idea of magic or the devil's work or whatever. You know, there's ultra positive ultra negative ideas, whereas actually hypnosis is all about being in an optimal state of Um where you can learn and and that is a state of focus and inward focus and relaxation. Um, a place where you can access subconscious mind, so to speak, even though there is no such thing as an actual subconscious mind, you know, a place that is a subconscious mind, more like a concept to understand what's going on underneath the surface. So Um, to answer your question about my struggle, yes, I totally struggled with it, with my my mindset, and I still sometimes struggle with it because I tend to be quite negative and kind of go into a place where that doesn't help me. So, in order to be healthy, I need to work on it. And and yeah, so I have suffered a lot from anxiety when I was younger, performance anxiety and on stage and I just hate it performing, and so I've had to really learn a lot to get to where I am. That's a nice kind of jumping off point to dive into some of that, because I think a lot of us have, at some point in our lives experienced stressful situations. I would hope so. If not, I'd love to have that life where there's no stress. Ever, or you know you're you're anxious about something, whether it's a musical performance or maybe a presentation at work. I know I've got one of those tomorrow. I this episode will come out after I do that. So let's say it went really well and there was no issue at all with it. I'm sure it'll be flawless, you know, especially on a topic. I know a lot about Um, but you know you're faking it until you make it works out. It works out well. So, as you've evolved in your career and worked with people, have you found some I like, kind of like the way that you phrase it up mind hacks. What are some of those mind hacks to achieve ongoing success? Well, UM, first of all, you have to understand how the mind actually works. and Um, the most important thing to remember is that whatever you say to yourself or otherwise Um gets translated immediately into pictures in your mind, so that you then visualize these pictures whether you like it or not, and that will elicit a feeling and then that feeling will manifest somatically and then that will create an experience and then that will feedback on the thoughts that they create. They create Um self at all. So it's a it's a feedback loop. Um. So, when you say something like, Oh, I don't want to be nervous, I don't want to Botch it up, I don't want to be rejected, you know, I don't want them to think I'm a failure. On...

...these signs that you're saying these words, you are actually picturing these situations and you and you're like rehearsing them in your mind. You're seeing yourself patching it up and getting nervous and people laughing you, or whatever it is. The negative stuff that you're saying to yourself get translated into these images and immediately you feel terrible. It's like nervous and you feel in your body and then that get gets translated into Um. Perhaps you your your hands tremble, perhaps you know your your throat gets patched, and perhaps you all these symptoms that then make you look like you're nervous, because you are. And then, of course, when there's anxiety coming in the way of you and interview or performance. Um, you then the flow of information, whether that's, you know, what you do for you know what what you could do for this company, or whether it's music, gets interrupted and you lose the thread and you don't know what you're talking about. And basically, you bought it up. And so then you have a terrible time and then you think, uh see, I was right, I was gonna botch it. I said I was gonna batch it up and I botched it up. So, UM, one. Mine Hack then is to always, always, always, the most important one. It's always imagine what you want, not what you don't. Super important because if I said to you a, don't think about running after an ambulance on a hill, Um, the ambulance on fire. Don't think about the ambulance being on fire. Don't think about running after it, it's like, what are you thinking about? That's immediately you think about that, and that's because the world don't. It's not an actual object. You know, it's in relation to an object, in this case the ambulance, imagining the ambulance. So you can't imagine a negation, you can only imagine something that is real. Um. So, therefore, imagine what you want, not what you don't. That's the most important mind Huck, I would say for the topic of stage fright in particular, because I think, I know I've said this on this podcast before, but Jerry Seinfeld has a classic joke where it's the number one public or the number one fear of Americans, I think, was public speaking and then number two was death, and he's like that means if you're at a funeral, you're rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy, and I think that's probably true of a lot of people. I know anytime I have to give a public speech, even though I like to think I'm a good conversation let's I mean I've talked to about a hundred twenty people for this podcast, like I clearly have at least some sort of rapport and confidence been talking with people, but if you put me up in a stage in front of people, all all of a sudden it's different, and I think that's that's pretty common for a lot of people. So is that? I assume that's part of it for trying to overcome that stage fright is to to visualize it being successful and not, you know, not imagining an ambulance on fire coming across the stage while you're speaking. So is I think you have like some good, good secrets to kind of overcoming stage fright. So let's let's spell those secrets. Sure. Sure. I mean the thing is that, yes, one way to absolutely set yourself up for success is positive mental rehearsal, which is what we're talking about here, Um, which will counteract negative mental rehearsal, which is basically what people do when they worry. They imagine the negative, the imagine everything was going wrong. So imagine eying every everything going your way. Is a way to set yourself up for success. Now, doesn't mean that you're lying, because sometimes people think, oh, I'm lying, this is not true, and it's the reality is that this isn't about whether something is true or not true. This is about, Um, thinking about and visualizing what's helpful right, what would move...

...the need of the mass? What would what would be most helpful if you embraced it. And if you're thinking, I am a master, I am great, Um, I am going to completely you know, I have so much fun. You are basically giving your your mind, a message. You're saying your mind, this is where we're going. This is what we want. We might not be here now, but this is what we want. Okay, and the mind is like you know, Um, you are the master of your mind. You consciously, you're saying this to yourself, you're imagining it, so you're directing your subconscious to get there. So if you imagine your subnscious being like a ship with a little you know, the crew on the ship, they're all doing your bidding, but you need to tell the crew where are we going? Are we going to disaster Ireland, Ireland, or are we going to, you know, happiness island, mastery island? Is that where we're going? Because the mind will get you there no matter what. You know, but you are have to decide where we're going. So that's important. Now, on the other hand, there's some things can get in the way of this right Um, and I think it's important to understand why we get performance anxiety in the first place, because I think a lot of the time it's it's all a bit fog and we don't understand why we get it. And if we understand why we get it, then then the secrets become start making said. So the first Um, the first thing to say is that it's just normal to feel anxiety when public speaking. Why is that? Because, evolutionarily speaking, if you Um, you know, think about when we were back in the day living in tribes, okay, and you were expelled from a trime, a group, you might die. It was just as really as simple as that. We are social animals and we thrive when we are in a group that accepts us. We support each other, and that's why, you know, we we got as humans to where we are alone, there is not very little we can really do, so it is normal to feel this fear of rejection. She is basically what this anxiety is. It's like a fear of rejection. Whereas it is normal to have a little bit of it, when you have a lot of it, that's when we need to start thinking, okay, we need to do something about this, because this is stopping me from actually getting to where I want to be, being successful speaker, musician, whatever it is that you are now, why do we get this successive anxiety? Where is this coming from? and Um, my Um theory at the moment. You know, what I have discovered, after studying this subject for quite a long time, is there's a couple of reasons one is negative conditioning. So negative conditioning means basically experiences that have taught us that being on stage, being seen in any way, Um, is dangerous. It is dangerous. You know, it is a threat, and this could be you know, it doesn't have to be a big trauma. It could be just as simple as you're at school and everybody's laughing at you because you said something wrong and that becomes, you know, as a kid, becomes a big deal, a big deal. Is Like, Oh God, I'm not funny, I don't know what I'm saying. You start saying to yourself immediately, this happened because I'm not good enough, basically. So that's negative conditioning and that can only really be Um, changed. Well, there's many ways of changing it, but the best, the fastest ways with hypnosis really I found, Um, the other ways that reinforce hm, well, that help you Um, get over the...

...negative conditioning is our basically experiences of positive conditioning. So experiences where you have a performance of some kind and interview of some kind and you really nail it, you're amazing, everybody is like clapping and you're like Oh, actually, yeah, not so bad, and so that's that's positive conditioning, right. But the good thing is that you can do that, and ignos is by visualizing that sort of thing. Um Cave. Yet if there is trauma that is really intense, you know, if if there's multiple experiences where you've you've been, you've experienced public speaking or performance as a threat, then we need to work on the trauma as well. So it's not enough to just do positive reinforcement. Um. The other a cause for excessive anxiety, as what I was saying talking about before, as the negative mental rehearsal, which is basically worried imagining all all that could so if you put these two together, you get huge fear of rejection. And what happens then is that in the moment when you're put on the spot, like you said, you know, you know, it's all well and good when I'm doing my podcast, but then I go on stage and boom, I don't know, it's a totally different thing. But what I don't know if this is what happened to you, but a lot of people experience the fight a flight response. So it's like in that moment you're not rational, you're talking to yourself in a positive way. It doesn't work because your heart is bumping, you're sweating, you can't think straight, you know. So if you're in that state, in the fight of flight state, well, you cannot use these techniques just yet. There is something you need to do first, and what you need to do is switch off the fight of flight response. Now, excuse me for this long windowed answer, but it's kind of a long subject, complicated. Basically, there are ways to switch off the fight of flight response and these are the what I want I call a secret right. Uh, not really a secret, but you know and other people don't know them. They're very simple. So, Um, before I tell you what they are, just to understand why they work, I would like to explain. Why does something work? Um, so, in the fight the flight response, what's happening is that your Magdala, which is the alarm center of the brain, gets switched on. It's like an alarm going off doing danger, danger. In that moment we experienced, Um, a variety of symptoms. So we've got adrenaline, then then Corrisol, the stress Wormon are getting pumped into our body. We're getting ready to fight the enemy or run away from the enemy and of the threat. And then, Um, we we need to use this energy in some way right and after we use the energy. If we do use the energy like we would if we were running away from an actual threat like a lie or or someone WHO's trying to attack us or something like that, then we, the alarm center, would basically switch off and we go into a set of relaxation. Okay, now the danger is over and now I can relax. So this is a corresponse to sympathetic nervous system, which is what gets activated when you're in the fight of flight response, and the parasympathetic nervous system gets activated when you're relaxing, when it's all over. So the trick is you want to switch on the parasympathetic nervous system because when you do, the sympathetic thats switched off. It's like it's like a double switch. You know, you can't have one on and the other on the either one is on or the other is on. So the fastest way is to switch on the parasympathetic nervous system. So how do you do that? Two ways. First Way, this one is about Um tricking the the alarm center...

...to think that the danger is over now in the wild. If you were actually getting attacked by somebody or an animal, the danger would be over when you either killed this person or this animal or, you know, maybe not killed, but make sure they don't know they count arm you, or you've run away. Right. So in doing that, you have you have used that energy. You've used the court. The court is all the adrenaline. You've used all of that, and that's the clue. So how would you do that? Well, you would use Um, you would be an aerobic exercise, right, you would be doing what we call a robic exercise. So you wouldn't call it that, but you'll be running, you'll be fighting. That's what would be what would happen. So one way of tricking the alarm system too, as just to stop being on as to do an robic exercise. So that means, you know, you could run up and down the stairs, you could do jump in Jacks, you could dance to your favorite tune, but you need to do it for long enough your heartbeat is up right and you're basically giving that message to your body. Okay, we're we're fighting, we're running, we're using this energy. Right, that's number one aerobic exercise for a couple you know, five minutes enough for your heart rate to go up. And the second one, Um, is and you can do this either instead of but even better after the Arabic exercise. The second one is dia, for agramatic breathing. diafragmatic breathing is when you have your mouth closed, you breathe through the belly, say, for example, of the account of four, to your nicely breath. You hold just for a couple of seconds and then you breathe out through your nose, only for account of eight or longer. Now the numbers don't are not important, but what they mean is that you're breathing out for longer and you breathe in and you take a deep, deep breath, and you need to do this for five minutes. If you do it for a lesson that it's not really gonna work because it takes time to Um, to switch on the parasy but that in nervous system. And by the way, this is also the same method that you used to stop monic attack. Okay, so those are the two most important things. Once you've done that, okay, then at this point you are ready to get grounded. And two UM. Imagine that your feet are rooted into the ground you're standing up straight, you're sending in the kind of position that a master would standard. Okay, someone who feels relaxed, feels confident. You perhaps have you know, you can imagine that you feed are like the roots of a tree going into the ground. You Relax your shoulders, you open your chest instead of full height. You then can imagine a globe around you, a globe of power. Imagine that you are filling in this globe with your Mana, I feel like your your your inner power, your module, if you like, your spirit, whatever you wanna call it, and you just visualize this. And while you visualize this, now you can use the positive mental rehearsal. So using affirmations. I'm a master, I'm great, I can do this, I own this space. I'm gonna have fun. You know, whatever, you reallyconnect to the camera, I am the better. I'm going to enjoy the show, whatever it might be. You know, I got this Um I deserve to be here. All of these kind of affirmations, and, by the way, there's a way to get the informations right, but that's for another question. And so these are the threes that this is the three step process releasing the tension without Diefer with them, a big exercise different money breathing. Get grounded and use...

...the informations. I need to get a public speaking event now so I can put this solid in to practice. Beyond being a coach for people, you've also got a book and a podcast, of course, and all all these other things that are all kind of under the dare to be seen theme, which I think when when people are kind of branching out the different offerings that they have as a business, I think sometimes it can be easy to kind of get away from the brand as a whole, and I think you do a nice job of keeping everything within that same sort of brand like that. Was that a conscious decision that you made or once you kind of got rolling, you're like, wait a minute, this kind of applies. Well, I mean I started before. Um, I started a long time ago before I came up with this idea. Um, I came up with this idea that, you know, this book kind of came first because I decided that I needed to walk the talk, you know, I needed to to actually, Um, learn what I was what I was teaching. The best and the best way to do that was too kind of not force myself but, you know, writeing this book and and record my own sessions so that I could listen to them, so that I could benefit from them, you know, and also make them accessible to a lot of other people that desired my one on one clients. And then from then on I thought, okay, Um, what else can I do? And and I started, Um, doing the podcast. Now, the podcast is kind of parked at the moment because it became too much for one person. It became overwhelming and I decided that, although I really loved doing it, because I was very much connecting with a lot of other musicians and all around the world, and that was great, Um, it was also taking so much of my time that I wasn't I didn't really have enough time for my music, and I thought, well, you know, that's non negotiable. I need to I need to dedicate my time to my music, because that's that feeds my soul and if I don't have that, then I can't really I don't have much to give. So then I decided to brough, you know, to focus more on that and and then it just happened to fit with everything else that I was interested in, you know, there because I also help people with creativity and songwriting and I was like, Oh, there to create, oh, there to create on there to there to do this, there to do that, and it's all really be encouraged as enough to express yourself, you know, to shine, to say hey, here I am. There's nothing to be ashamed of here, in fact, quite the opposite. Now, you touched on this that you partd the podcast to focus on your music and you've released twelve albums, which is astounding. That's so somebody's songs. So how has your music writing process kind of evolved over the years? And kind of along those same lines, how have you marketed music, like how was how was that changed since you're from your first albument or most current one? Okay, so I have changed quite a lot. When I started writing music, it was all hit a miss. I didn't know what I was doing. I was all very intuitive, like Oh, you know, I just want to write a song, because I started writing poetry. That was the first kind of love and then I got into music afterwards and I was doing poetry and storytelling and then I thought, Oh you know, if I could tell a story through music, it would be even better. But I didn't study it after a long time. I I just kind of so oh, it just comes, you know, whatever, whenever I'm inspired. But then that started to change, and that also started to change after the first ten years, because the first ten years I was writing a lot about myself, my internal struggle, lots of relationship travel and problems with my own mental health and all...

...of that. And then things change. I got better and I started thinking, you know, this is boring. I want not that it was boring, but I got bored and I thought, you know what, I want to write about other people, I want to write about other things, so don't I don't really want to write about love, which is fine, you know, there's nothing wrong when running about love, of course not. But I thought I want to expand, and then I started I got a bit stuck as well, and I was like always using the same chord, I was playing guitar, always the same thing, and I thought, you know, this is not it's like painting with three colors, you know, I always yellow blue and red, yellow blue and red. Yeah, okay, it's interesting, but now can we do something else please? So I got to that wall and that's when I decided to start of studying music and I got interested in Berkeley School of music, which for a long time was like the only grail. I was like, Oh, one day, Berkeley School of Music One day, but not for me because I'm not good enough. It was crazy. And then then, finally I didn't. I started studying with them and I thought, what was I thinking? What? This is totally me, this is completely what I needed, and I inspired me so much and I learned so much and and then I realized there's there's so many other colors I can use and there's an infinite amount of possibilities, and so that really helped Um. But then also I also got stuck again at another point because I started, you know, thinking on everything that I do need to be perfect, and that's terrible. That's a terrible thing to see yourself. It will stop you from creating if you think that way. So then I started reading books about this particular problem and what to do, and and what I've come up crosses this idea of letting go completely of being a good writer or a good anything, and and radical self acceptance, basically, and being like, you know what, there are no there's. There's those things really as mistakes or bad notes or you know, maybe I should try to write a bad song, because if I do, I'm sure I won't be able to. You know, it's it's when you intentionally try to do something badly that you can't, because you just can't, you know, it just comes out. But there's no more pressure, and I put a lot of pressure on myself. So I started learning, and I'm still learning, how to accept whatever I do and and feed my mind in a positive way, to really relax and and allow things to emerge, and then later I can decide in the editing process, okay, this song and makes the cut. This song doesn't you know, this song needs abolishing and changing this you know, I'm less precious about it. So that's that's changed quite a bit. And now I do a lot of writing every day, like you know, just object writing, no pressure to write anything amazing, but that's a good way to to Um use the muscle, you know, to make yourself, the creative muscles, stronger. Um. So that's, you know, answer the question number one. Question number two, which is it was about promotion. Ha Ha. I am terrible a promotion I I that's one thing that I haven't figured out yet. I think my problem was when I was younger, I was quite insecure. I thought I am totally you know, who am I to promote myself or whatever? You know, silly. This is a really bad mindset. So I did it. And I also thought, on the other hand, that I was so brilliant I didn't need to promote myself, that someone will will find me, you know. And then, and I think a lot of people think like this, oh I'm so amazing. Well, it will just do a great album and people will find it. was like, doesn't quite work, quite bad. And then I got...

...resentful of like, oh well, well, if this is not working, it means that I'm not good enough, you know. And and then I thought, Oh, I have to work that hard to promote it. Oh God, I can't be bothered, you know, I'm an artist. I should just do art and and so all of this. Um, that doesn't help, you know, the really negative mindset. So then I thought, you know what, Um, I kind of gave it up. I thought I actually, you know, why do I need to promote my music? What I really want is for people to relate to the music that I make and to say, Um, I want them to to hear whatever the messages and and to touch them. You know, I want to build bridges. Okay, so that should be my motivation, not some ego thing. Of I want to close. I don't want people to tell me how great I am, you know, because if if I'm going from coming from that perspective, then it isn't gonna work. So so then. So at the stage, I mean, I kind of gave up the ego thing and I have decided that for a while I'll focus on just making the music and feeling comfortable performing and giving as much as myself and and learning more and becoming, you know, really mastering the music and recording and the performing. And then, you know, when I'm comfortable with that, I think it's going to be easier to promote myself because I'll be relaxed about it, there won't be pressure, and so then we'll see. Um Long Window. Dancer, and with all that music, you've done a lot of live shows, but that as well. I always love to ask musicians this. What's your worst Gig? Oh, it's easy. The worst GIG was this one time that I was struggling to performance anxiety and I thought, Oh, you know, I'll just get drunk. Yeah, not a good idea. I don't even drink like that much at all. So it's not easy. It's not difficult to get. Just need a couple of glasses of one. There you go. So I had I had this couple of glasses of wine, went on stage, I'll start performing and then right in the middle of a song, I had the thought, Oh what if I don't remember the next line? And I didn't remember it, of course, because that's kind of for me. That's a suggestion, right. So I completely blanked out and forgot the entirety of the rest of the song. I was just gone and I blocked. I got blocked in the middle and froze like a robin and the headlights and was like and then I ran away out of the you know, of the venue. I was like, Oh God, I never pickle. This is approved that. I'm not what it Takeau and all of that right Ross these days, if happens, it's like whatever, you know, welcome to be a human. Yeah, I always like to say in in those situations, especially if it's an original song, you can kind of pass it off. is like, well, if the people have never heard this song before, then they'll just think that's what it was and if they have heard it they'll be like, oh, this is kind of like a you know, a little twist on it, like a live version. Forgetting the words part, I'll give a shout out. There's a great Austin show here that's called Jimmy Wednesday. That's the first Wednesday of every month and people come in and play a lot of covers from the you know, the early two thousands, and it's just a delightful little throwback nostalgia. And one time we are banded the Song Scottie doesn't know by Lustra from the movie euro trip. It's a real, real niche it, but I think if you were alive in America at a certain time, you really know that song. And as the song starting, our singer, who normally things, turns to me and he's like Hey,...

I'll play guitar for this song. Do you want to sing it? And I was like no, I like, I don't know the words that well. And then our other guitars had already started playing this so we did this quick little switch. I took the microphone and I was just like I outside of the very like first couple of lines. I couldn't tell you the rest of the words to that song, the repetitive performance, because I just kept repeating the cars. And thankfully it is kind of repetitive song at the end so that, I think, eventually people are like, all right, well, he doesn't know the words, so we're just going with it, and then the song mercifully ended and we moved. God, just while you were speaking, I remembered another really bad gig to tell you. Oh then, Um, maybe then afterward the best Gig, but yeah, the worst. I think another one was really bad, was it? I was in New Zealand at the time. was really read a long time ago on, and I basically drove twelve hours to get to this gig while having a really bad cold. So I was feeling terrible. Got There and my manager at the time had completely forgotten to promote the show, like I just didn't, you know. So I got to the venue, you know, really horrible cold, did not want to do it anyway, and the only people there was me, my boyfriend and my manager, and after driving twelve hours as well, I was exhausted. But I decided that I was going to do it anyway because you know, when I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. So I didn't. Yeah, I just thought this is going to be a rehearsal. You know. That's that's how I always see if if something it's not quite up to parts like well, yeah, if it's just one person, well, I'll give him everything I got, you know, because that one Peron, if there is one person there, I've got to give him a hundred percent. And if there's no one, I'll give me a exactly. Yeah, someone's getting a hundred percent it. It's glorious. Another question I always like to ask us a question you wish you were asked more frequently. I think you've touched on this a little bit, but for for people who are maybe tuning in mid podcast, I don't know who does that, but I'm sure there are people who do that. So the question that you wish you were asked more frequently. Why do I keep getting what I don't want? Yeah, because you keep imagining what you don't want, to keep focusing on when you don't want. That's why. So focus on what you want and you'll get what you want. Acus on when you don't want and you get what you don't want. Really as simple as that fantastic, and Segue, it's very nicely into our top three, because when you focus on what you want, I think a great way to do that is with personal growth. Mom and I'd love to hear your top three. Yeah, my top three as simple. The first one is you are good enough just as you are, the second one is you belong and the third one is, no matter what happens, you'll be okay. And these are my my personal favorite. Yes, love, love them all. Well, Lisa, thank you so much for hopping on the podcast and chatting. This is a lot of fun. Absolutely. Thank you. And before you let me go, I just wanted to say that, if anyone wants to take advantage of it, I just made available to the listeners of the post this podcast a free book. Um. So if you want to grab yourself a copy of my book, there to be seen. Um, you can, and you can just go to my website, which is Anisadina DOT COM smash. Good people, altogether, good people. I love that. Branded you are. I will drop it in the show notes so people can get there super easily. Awesome. Well, thank you again, and of course we've got to end with a Corny joke. As we always do, and I tried to keep it topical with the music performance type of thing. I actually saw a concert recently. It was barbershop quartet, but the falsetto singer died mid perform it's okay, at least he went out on a high note.

Good after today. People should also clarify. I know it actually died at the last show. Good people cool things is produced in Austin, Texas. If you're a fan of this episode, go ahead and hit that follow button. That helps more people here the show. You can send me a message Joey, at good people cool things dot com. Thank you to all of the guests who have been on good people cool things and check on all the old episodes via good people cool things dot com. As always, thank you for listening and have a wonderful day.

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