Good People, Cool Things
Good People, Cool Things

Episode 141 · 2 months ago

141: Mindfulness, Meditation, and The Walking Dead with Rosemary Ikpeme

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

After experiencing her own obstacles, Rosemary Ikpeme made it her mission to share everything she's learned about personal development, goal setting, productivity, and mental resilience.

She left a career in media to create MYnd Map, which empowers individuals and organisations to achieve their goals efficiently, based on their values and purpose, with balance and mindfulness.

We're talking all about how you can incorporate mindfulness within your day, appreciating the little things, and our favorite stories from our broadcasting careers.

This episode is presented by MyLifeInABook.com. They offer a super fun way to get to know your loved ones better, collect timeless memories for future generations, and bring the family together! Use code "GPCT" at checkout or click right here and save.

Have you ever had a to do list where you look at it and it's like eight hundred and seventy two items and you think, WHOA, that is a lot of stuff to do. I mean, that's kind of what my to do list looks like all the time. There's always something, whether it's for this podcast, whether it's for writing, whether it's laundry dishes. There's laundry going right now, in fact, in the dryer getting nice and toasty. Have you ever put on a freshly dried shirt one of the best failings. That's not what this episode about. We're not talking about freshly dried shirts, although that would be a great band name if you do it, I'll just take two percent royalties, thank you very much. Instead, we're talking about how to be more productive, and my guest is fantastic at doing that. In fact, she started a company to help other people practice mindfulness, be more productive, and get more joy out of life. Her name's Rosemarie ik Pemma. She is the founder of mind Map. She left amy and broadcasting career to help others some thousands of people find the right mindset for them become more mindful, become more productive, become more grateful for all the things, and she's sharing her tips for how you can do the exact same thing. It's all kinds of fantastic. We're talking about drinking tea. So I hope you're cozy. I hope you're called up and ready for a great conversation with Rosemary. To kick it off, can you give us your name and your elevator pitch, but also the type of elevator that we're writing on. Hi, Joey, my name is Rosemary Ebema. Um. I'm a London, UK based entrepreneur. I um founded and created my map and my mission with my map is to help inspire people to find goals that actually align with their values um and their purpose in life and give them the tools to achieve those goals, but achieve them in a mindful, in a productive and in...

...a balanced way, making sure that they are taking care of all the areas in their lives that are important to them, especially their mental health. So that's what I do, and that's my elevators. Um, bitch, what elevator? Probably one of those elevators. Um being on holiday, you know, and then you have like the little holiday track going do do do do? Do? So? So you're just maybe going to a spa elevator taking to the spa. I like it. I like, now, where did this idea come from? Was mindfulness or something that you always kind of were like, hey, I kind of have a grasp on this and I can turn it into a business or where did where did the idea come from? To be honest with you, I don't remember knowing the word mindful or mindfulness. It never really occurred to me that that was a thing. I think my journey started when I was in my mid twe ease and a lot of things in my life in different areas just seemed to be not going the way I wanted them to. You know, I'm I'm fairly I'm quite ambitious, I would say, so when things were not going my way, when it came to friendships, came to family, came to Korea, I started asking myself questions, and I started reading books, and I started going to events. I went to a meditation or retreat for the first time, and I just started looking at what I could do because I I I guess I realized I can't change the world around me or people, but I can change me. So I started looking at looking for ways that I could improve perhaps my life, all those areas that I felt weren't working for me. And what I found was when I looked inside of myself and main changes, everything else on the outside seemed to change along with it, without me trying to change the outside, but just changing the inside. So along with those, um...

...you know, those lessons and you know the questions I was asking and the things that I was learning. That was how I fell into mindfulness without realizing it was mindfulness, you know, with the meditation, with the yoga, these are all forms of mindfulness practices. And I didn't know that until I guess, you know, just before I started my map and I realized, Okay, this is the things that I'm doing on mindfulness practices that have helped me, you know for the last ten years. I can put this into my journals, into my planners, and like I said, I was, I'm very ambitious. How do I incorporate that with my goals? And how did it support me with my goals? So that's that's how I started with mindfulness. And you mentioned a meditation retreat. Here, We're going to hop all the way back to the very first episode of this podcast. I featured. I guest his name is Diamond. Well, he's very very enjoyable, I thought, very very cool guys done a lot of things, and one of those was a ten day silent meditation retreat. So was your meditation retreat of the silent variety or was it more more I less less intense. I guess that's pretty intense. I mean, I know about it. I've heard people have been to it several times, and I've been intrigued by it. But no, Joey, I've not done that yet. That would be quite a challenge, and I think it might be something I would take up. No, my meditation retreat was actually something that changed my perspective of life and changed my life a lot. Like I said, I felt there were a lot of things that were not going my way, and I would wake up feeling like the breast, sad, anxious, feeling a little bit out of control, and unhappy. Generally, I'd wake up feeling unhappy. And this was, like I said, in my mid twenties, and I think you two to wake up feeling that, and all of a sudden I thought,...

...okay, I need to do something, and I looked for meditation. You know, retreats because my friend said, maybe you can try something like that. And I found one that and the title was how to wake Up Smiling? And I thought, oh, hold on a minute, wait a minute, this is what I need because I need to wake up smiling, because I'm not waking up smiling at all. So I went to this weekend matret uh meditation retreat. It was a weekend. It was in I'm I'm in London. It was in a place called Brighton, and Brighton has a beach, and I thought, okay, that's great. You know, I can maybe sneak off and work and go for a walk by the beach, by the promenade if I didn't like it, but it blew my mind. It was just exactly what I needed because in that retreat um, the monk that was hosting a retreat talked and explained to us why perhaps we don't wake up smiling anymore. You know. The analogy he he gave was, as children, we wake up excited. So you imagine, as a child, perhaps you're waking up just before Christmas Day or before your birthday, your wake up excited. You wait, you're the first person wakes up before before anyone else. You know, you want everyone to wake up because it's a great day and you're looking forward to it and you're gonna be amazing and you're gonna have fun. Blah blah blah. But as we grow older, life happens. You wake up thinking, Oh, I have that dentist appointment. Oh, my goodness, I have these bills to pay. Oh, I have that presentation of work to do. You know, I have this and that. And therefore we were burdened by all these thoughts of things that perhaps we don't look forward to doing. And then he said, okay, imagine if you saw life as collecting gifts. So you have a basket. Every morning, you're giving a basket, and they say to you, go collect all these gifts that are out there for you, you know. And it honed it...

...on gratitude. So, rather than focus on the things that we don't like, why don't you focus on the things that you're grateful for. The bed you're sleeping on, someone made it, you know, and you're comfortable sleeping on it. And you didn't make it. Someone made it for you, and and you get a good night's sleep. The road that you're taking to work, Yes, there might be construction and you know your your buses running late because of that. But people are, you know, working to make that road safe for you. You know, the bus driver for example, or the train tube driver. They're driving you to work. And we don't focus on these little gifts that we have in life. So if we reimagine waking up and just collecting gifts that life has for us, we would wake up smiling. And that really changed my perspective. I felt like I was on a high for six months after that retreat. Literally I was, I was just I was just voting through life. I was like, hold on, what kind of medicine, what kind of drop that this person give me? Because I just loved life, and it just it lasted for so long. Um the high that I was on, and it was just amazing. So that was the retreat. That was my first experience at a meditation retreat. Very impressive. So with that sort of sense of of being grateful for the little things and and things that maybe you don't think about. I I the bus driver and tube driver. Part of that is something that I think about, like pretty regularly, of the amount of like times I have like I'm basically in someone else's hands, Like my life is in someone else's hands, and I'll think about that. It's like there's been so many times were like, you know, if they take a wrong turn or something, or you know, something happens like that, who knows what could happen, And it's like it really does kind of make you reflect on things and be like, oh, that's pretty awesome them that so many people have have essentially like...

...taken care of me and not let me get hurt. Exactly. The world's literally looking after you, and we take that for granted. You know, the house you live in, someone built it. You know, the table you're you're sitting, you know, the chair you're sitting on, someone built it. You didn't have to do that. So we focus on those little little things that we perhaps you know, they seem so minute. You know, we we we we expect them. We just expect them because that's how it is. But if we actually take a moment to realize and focus on those things, it does make such a big difference. You're out the way you look at life and the way life shows up to you. Because once you start appreciate appreciating things and seeing things that you appreciate the more you will see. It's just like if I said to you, Joey, look out for red cars or don't look for red cars, what are you going to see when you go out? Only right? So that is exactly just reframing and retraining your mind, um, you know, and allowing it to see all the goodness that surrounds you. So that's I think, I think, maybe not easy enough to do, but something that I think it's doable for a lot of people. Are there other ways that you like to incorporate mindfulness throughout your day? Yes, so in terms of mine, I know, mindfulness has been such a buzzword in you know, the last five years or so, and um, I recently hosted a workshop and I asked people, It's like, do you actually know what mindful means? And everyone's like, m mmm, not really. You know, it's being aware, you know, meditation, yoga, And I said, yes, those are practices of my but what mindfulness actually means is being aware. It's a training. So...

...it's an active word that you do in terms of you train your mind to focus on the thing you want to focus on, which can be focusing on your breathing, which can be focusing on your thoughts, but not actually you know, adding to to those thoughts, or it could be focusing on gratitude or focusing on positivity, of focusing on you know, the work that you're doing. Those are all elements of mindfulness. So when people say how do I incorporate mindfulness into my everyday activity? It can look so different too, you know, to to everybody, you can have a different mindfulness to practice, to to my mindfulness practice. So it's not once she fits everybody. You need to find what works for you. And here are a few things that I do that I find is um you know, that works for me. And hopefully if one of those works for you, you can then explore other practices of mindfulness. So for example, breathing, like I said, you know, we have the box breathing, which is the breathing for four, hold your breath for four, breath out of or hold your breath for the counter four and it can be account of five, it can be account of six depending on how comfortable you are if the breathing breathing patterns. Again, this is a practice that allows you to focus on your breath, so that means you're not like thinking about what you're gonna have for dinner, or think about that that work presentation you have in an hour. Even though your mind will think about those things, but then you gently and with compassion bring your mind back to the breathing. Not only will you then feel more at peace, but your physical body actually releases tension. You will find that your shoulders will will will drop, your breathing becomes slower, and your your heart rate becomes slower, and you actually find a sense of peace in that moment.

So that is one thing that I like to incorporate, just breathing, and I find that we often forget the power of just breath because we're so busy doing it and it's so automatic that we're not breathing in fully and actually experiencing that wreath. The other form of mindfulness practices that I do is just taking breaks and checking in with yourself. You know, Like I said, mindfulness is about awareness. How am I feeling? You know? My mental state? You know that this this project I'm working on, how do I feel about it? Do I really enjoy it? Is? This? Is this? You know? The goal that I set for myself, is that really the goal that I want to achieve? You know, um, how do I feel about you know, the thing that I'm planning to do tomorrow. So these are mindfulness practices that can help you just again self awareness, self reflection, and bring you back to this moment rather than thinking about what's going to happen, worrying about the future, or regretting the past. It's about now and at this moment, this is where you can actually make a change. You can adapt, you can pivot, and you can make a choice for yourself. And the other one that I love to do is setting intention. Again, it's very simple when you set an intention. So an intention is essentially um, it's not an affirmation so to speak. It's what, that's how, it's it's a tool that allows you to get to where you want to go. So for example, if my intention today is too, I need to open a bank account today. That's my goal. That's my goal, and I know the steps. I know, okay, to open a bank account. I need to make sure I've got all my idea. I need to go to the bank. I needed to do this. I have all the steps and the action plan. But what is my intention? Oh, I know that this can be quite stressful, So my intention today is to find peace in every moment. Moment of doing this again,...

...this is a practice that brings you back into the moment. So whilst you're like, oh my god, I can't find my idea, you're like, hold on a minute, what's my intention find peace in this moment? Like I find peace in this moment. You go to the bag and there's maybe it's something happening, and go, hold on a minute, what's my intention for today? It's defined peace and then it brings you back to that intention. So these are just small things that you can do to incorporate mindfulness, because I feel like every time we talk about mindful as people think about, well, I'm going to do an hour yoga session, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna do like a twenty minutes meditation. If that works for you and you have time for those things, do it. But finding little mindfulness practices that you can do um during the day, even if it's just like I said, the breathing technique could just be thirty seconds or even a minute, and that's enough. You know they're setting an intention. It's literally split second and then you're taking a moment to just bring yourself back to your intention. Again. It doesn't take long, but that's a mindfulness practice. And also, um, one of one good practice that I actually enjoy is using your senses. So if you perhaps having if you're a tea drinker like myself or your coffee drinker, perhaps your mindfulness practice could be every time I get my tea, I really want to feel, you know, I want to use all my senses to enjoy my my drink. So if it's how the cup builds in your hands, the smell of I really want to smell the tea. I really want to look at it. What does you know? How does the mug look? What color? With shape or texture? You know? And then when I said the tea, I really want to taste it. Again, that's a mindfulness practice that you can incorporate, and that brings you back into the moment moment and also brings you back into your body as opposed to your mind. Takes you out of your mind, into your body and into the moment. I think I'm gonna make some tea after this, I like, please do. Looking for a really cool gift to impress...

...your parents, grandparents, or loved ones, here's a fantastic choice for you my Life in a Book dot com. They offer a fun way to get to know your loved ones better, collect timeless memories for future generations, and bring the whole family together. My favorite thing when there's a whole family involved is to keep it simple because you've got people from all different generations. They might not know technology as well as you do, or maybe they're just like, hey, I don't want to take the time to spend learning something brand new. Luckily, my Life in a Book dot Com is a very simple You select from a series of fun and exciting questions that you wouldn't think to ask, like what's the funniest memory you have of your siblings? Or do you have a secret you've never told your own parents. These questions get emailed to your parents grandparents and they write an answer, can even attach a meaningful photo. This happens every week, and at the end of one year, all of those questions get compiled and printed into a beautiful keepsake book. You can get copies for all your family members if you want, and to make sure you preserve it digitally in case anything happens to the physical copies. You can also get it in audio format. I mean you're listening to a podcast. Clearly audio formats are fantastic. You're enjoying it. Why not enjoy it with your family as well? With My Life in a Book dot com, you can show your loved ones they're meaningful to the family and help build their legacy. Promise you, your mom, your dad, your grandparents, whoever you get this too, are gonna love it. It's such a cool thing. That's why it's on this podcast. Good people, Cool things. Ha ha. To save ten dollars off your first purchase, use discount code gpc T. That's gpc T to get ten dollars off My Life and a Book dot com. Now back to the episode. You mentioned how mindfulness has kind...

...of been, you know, a buzzy word over the last few years, and I think another one that I mean, certainly in the past two years since the pandemic has has hit, everyone is is burnout and productivity and all of that. And I think a lot of times people think, you know, if I'm going to be productive, I have to work more, work hard, or you know, be be kind of tireless in the work that I'm doing, which I think is a very easy way to get into burnout. And so how can we be productive without feeling burnt out? That's a great question, Joey. I totally agree with you. There's there's notion that being productive is working harder to get more results, you know, which is not necessarily the case. You can work harder to burn out and then you get no results. That's, you know, usually what happens, or you get the results you don't want to get because you know, um, you're burnt out. So productivity I took a different look a productivity. So if we're looking at productivity, it's about output, what we bring out, what are the results we're getting. But if we're looking at the results, we need to look at what we're putting in because the quality of the results will depend on the quality of what we're putting in, don't you agree, m So therefore, if we're looking at what we're putting in, where that where does that you know, how does that play out to productivity? We're looking at efficiency then, so we want to look at the quality of what we're putting in, and that is the efficiency which takes into you know, the materials. You're wasting time and you're wasting materials or using it um in in an efficient way. You're using your time in efficient way, and it's important to look at both. And then the other element is if we're looking at the out, the input and the output, who is doing the input. It's us, So we're essentially the tool that is going to do them,...

...you know, do the activity to create the input to get the output. So if we are looking at productivity, essentially we need to be looking up at ourselves as a whole. It's like having a car. Your car, it's not going to run well if you're not going to check the engine, if you're not going to check the tires, you know, if you're not gonna I don't know, the exhaust is not working. So we need to look at ourselves as a whole in a holistic way if we're looking at productivity. If you look at any organizations once they when they start looking at productivity, they look at the organization as a whole, as a in a holistic way. So I think we need to apply that to our own personal productivity. And that's why it's so important that we don't neglect certain areas in our lives that we might think, oh, it's not that important, but essentially is so in my journals. And my plan is I incorporate a tool called the Wheel of Life. I don't know if you've tried using the World of Light before, but it's essentially a will. It's split into different sections, and each section is mapped out with areas of your life that are important to you, and this tool gives you an aerial view as to where you are. So, for example, areas of life of your life that I usually think it's very essential for a balance and productive life. We're looking at physical health, mental health, you know, we're looking at perhaps your you know, profession, career, your money, um, your finances. You're looking at your family, You're looking at relationships. You're looking at perhaps the things you enjoy doing, entertainment, hobbies. Perhaps you know, your personal growth, your spiritual growth. So you can incorporate all these different areas that are important to you in your life. And then the middle of the center is a zero and the outer part of the circle is a tent. Then you decide from a zero, which is it's terrible, it's the worst to attend.

It's fantastic. I'm having a great time. This is the best I can be in this area of my life. You decide where you are between the zero and um the ten. And if you do that to all areas, and then you then connect the dots, you see you can actually see the areas that you are thriving in and the areas that perhaps you're neglecting. And that's where you realize where you know your productivity might not be working because you know, I can be spending a lot of time on thriving at work and I'm making that money. About my relationships. You know, I don't have friends. You know, my partner is unhappy. I don't feel like I'm built in life. If you don't have that balance within your circle, how can you be productive because it's going to bring down those areas that you think are doing well. So if you're unhappy with your personal life, what your career is going well, you're still not going to be productive because you're not fulfilled. But if you can balance the circle in terms of I'm happy, I'm kind of okay in in these areas in my life and everything is balanced and it's well, your your your cars, well oiled engines, running okay, then you can start building momentum. And that's when your productivity level source because your mental health is okay, your physical health is okay. You know your relationships are okay. You know you're working towards your goal. So it's so important to look at holistic productivity rather than I'm just gonna work, work, work and get results, and you forget about the important areas that are actually enabling you and supporting YouTube get those better results at work that you actually are striving for. I like it. We're gonna take a little bit of a left turn here because to start mind map, you left a career in media and broadcasting, and I studied broadcast journalism in college, so I always I always loved chatting with with fellow broadcasters. And for me, my...

...favorite story that I ever did was about I went to the University of Miami and the milkshakes at the baseball stadium were fantastic. I think, of the best milkshake you've ever had, This was better, And so I did a story about the man that ran the milkshake booth and everything. I believe he has since retired. He's he's made enough milkshakes. He has he's wrote off into the sunset very gracefully. But yes, yes, he's he's made us all very happy, and that was just one of my my favorite stories to you know, getting as a nice perk was I got some free milkshakes out of it, but you know, just just hearing his story and how he had kind of grown the you know, a little stand into a much larger sort of thing that people actively would come to Games four, I thought was super cool and and just really enjoyed that story. So I was wondering from your career, did you have a favorite story that you ever did? So I worked UM. Like like you said, I worked in the medium TV industry before I I decided to stop my grand mind map. So before then I worked for Box Um, Box Media and UM. I remember because you know, when when they acquired a new show, they do a screening to show the stuff because obviously we have the marketing team, the PR team. Then they can have a look and then start working on it for the launch. UM and Box had recently acquired a new show UM and we're launching in the UK, so we had the first screening, so we saw it before anyone else did. So that show was The Walking Dead, and I was from then on I was hooked. I absolutely love The Walking Dead. I've seen all the episodes probably you know, two or three times, and so that was it and I was like yeah, I felt great because like, yes, I'm you know, I'm one of the few that saw it before it launched in the UK. And then we you know, fast forward to...

...be about six seven years after I end up working for a m C. There are us UM company, as you you might you know recognize, and they are the people who actually you know, filmed and created The Walking Dead and then um, while as I was working for them, they launched a new series called Fear the Walking Dead and again we I got to see the launch the first episode before anyone else and I was like, whoa, what is going on? So that is always such a fun memory that I got to see two of my favorite shows, um, you know, in different companies, in different companies that I worked for before anyone else got to see them. And that was pretty exciting. So that's what I'm going to hold onto. M that is super cool. I have only seen the scene in The Fucking Dead that has become the meme of I think Rick is his name, right, that Carl is the sun and it's like yeah, and it's it's it's like such a like sad scene, but it's just it's it's so funny to me that like the things that are supposed to be like, you know, heart wrenching. It like these really depressing scenes ends up as memes, which I guess is a good, you know, good reminder that we can laugh at ourselves sometimes. It is. It was. I enjoyed. It was a great chill. Um. So yeah, I love it. I love it. I watch it over again. Another question I always like to ask, I say, because it's less work for me, is a question that you wish you were asked more frequently, and perhaps media, you know, staying in media is is the answer to this. But if you weren't doing mind Matt, what would you be doing instead? What would you change about your life? Good question? Um, I wouldn't actually change anything, because um, I finally be like always regretting or contemplating all. I would do this, and I would do that, and I change that,...

And I just believe that we're on a journey and where you are is where you're meant to be, and you just have to trust the process and trust your intuition. So I wouldn't necessarily change anything. I would just be grateful for the lessons that I've learned, even though you know, I've had my challenges along the way. Like everyone else, I would look at where I am now and decide where I want to be, because I think if you contemplate the past too much, you're not giving power to the future. You're not giving power to the choices that you have now. So it's it's rather a question what can I do now? What do I want to do now? It's asking yourself empowering questions to get empowering answers. So yeah, I wouldn't change anything. I would just ask myself, where do I want to go next? What is my next picture? And how am I going to get? Love it all right, Rosemary or almost off the hook here, But we always like to wrap up with a top three, and we've been talking a lot about gratitude and being grateful for things. So if you have to narrow it down your top three things that you're grateful for. Oh, that's a good one. Okay, let me think about it. I'm gonna stop. Perhaps it's something big. So let's say I would say that I super grateful for the people and my family that I have to support me. So that's a big one, um, and then maybe more one. I am super grateful that I get to enjoy. I do love a cup of tea. I know it's very English, but when it's cold and raining, I just love having my cup of tea indoors. So I am super grateful for that, and I'm having one right now. Um. And another thing that I'm grateful for is you, Joey. I'm grateful for you, you...

...know, allowing me to share I guess my story and having this conversation with you, so thank you. You're welcome. No, I'm blushing, marvelous, marvelous, Rosemary, thank you so much. This was a heck of a good time. And if people want to learn more about you, want to check out mind map, where can they find you? Um, you can go directly on the website, which is my map dot co. So that's n y N D n A P dot co ceou, or you can get in touch with me on socials it's all at my map or emailed me at Hello at my mouth dot co. I'd love to answer any questions or just you know, have a chat if people have something to say. I love it and can confirm after this having a chat with Rosemary. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. Thanks Joey. I'd like to hear that. Yes, And of course we have to wrap up with a joke, as we always do. You know, smoking will kill you, Bacon will kill you, but smoking bacon we'll cure it. Good after today, people, nice one, Thank you, Thank you. Good People Cool Things is produced in Austin, Texas. If you're a fan of this episode, go ahead and hit that follow button that helps more people here the show. You can send me a message Joey at Good People, Cool Things dot com. Thank you to all of the guests who have been on Good People, Cool Things. Can check out all the old episodes via Good People, Cool Things dot com. As always, thank you for listening and have a wonderful day.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (143)