Good People, Cool Things
Good People, Cool Things

Episode 34 · 2 years ago

34: Overcoming Grief and Ditching the Bucket List with Ashley Bugge

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Ashley Bugge is a young military widow/solo mom of three, explorer, and award-winning author who was forced to rebuild her life after her husband tragically died in a recreational scuba diving accident. We chat about her story, why bucket lists are overrated, and discuss some of the finest karaoke choices.

Welcome the good people cool things, the podcast featuring conversations with entrepreneurs, writers, musicians and other creatives. I'm your host, Joey held, and today's guest is Ashley Buggy, a solo mom of three WHO's traveled to thirteen countries and countless states with her kids and she recently published a memoir based on her life with her husband before he passed away, called always coming back home, an emotional tale of love, adventure, tragedy and hope. That just came out last weeks. We're going to be talking about that. But because one book not enough, Ashley has written a second one with the help of her children. That's about managing grief, called Ahoe who until we meet again. She's also started a podcast, she's working on a third book and we are Great Karaoke fans, each of us, which we're going to have some good karaoke fun on. They're all kinds of wonderful stuff. If you like to get in touch with good people cool things, you can reach out via email joey at good people cool thingscom or on facebook or twitter or the brand new instagram. So give us a follow on instagram. GPCT podcast on all of them responsive on all of them, but instagrams the most exciting because it's the newest. It's always fun. Can also shop good people, cool thingscom shop. We're not trying to reinvent the wheel with the URLS here. Very simple, very simple. So let's get started. Ashley, tell me all about you and your elevator pitch and, more specifically, what kind of elevator are we on? It would be like Elevator Karaoke. Whatever music was playing, I'm probably know the lyrics, I would probably start singing it and there's a good chance would be some dance moves as well. So we do Karaoke. Awesome. So a follow up to that, then, do you have a karaoke song go to? Absolutely, Tom Petty, won't back down. That is like excellent. Yeah, it's my jam. Thank you for having a good song that's not overplayed as your gift. Yeah, yeah, what's yours? I really don't know if I have a go to. I used to host Karaoke when I look lay and so yeah, ok, Jack, thank you for knowing the term. It's great, and so I feel like when you do that, you kind of you see people come in and they'll have their go two's and you you hear a lot of the same songs. Yeah, always a little, you know, a little obnoxious if I don't like the song, but I'd like most music, so it's usually not too bad, I guess. If I had to pick one, I did a Karaoke contest one time and one second place, so I got fifty for performing the song my band by d twelve. If you're familiar with that song, it's Eminem's band, okay, or I guess his group. I should say it's the technical term. They even say in the song we're not a band, we don't play instruments, and so I guess that would be my go to if I had to. I'm also a big Fan of since you've been gone, by Kelly Clarkson and, yeah, roses by outcast, because there's a lot of like call, Callin repeat. I like it. Yeah, you can get down some Kelly Clark so how maybe after the recording will get will do some zoom room, carry on. Okay, so we'll definitely get karaoke into the mix, but can you give us just a quick overview for for everyone listening? We already know what elevator were on. It's a festive one and it's wonderful. Yeah, but WHO's on it? I mean, do I get a pick anyone, or is it just me? And now I have to tell you all about me, tell us about you, but then also pick to other people that you think would be good Karaoke. It's US two and to other people. Right, this is a fund. I guess they don't they could not like Karaoke and we can make it very miserable for...

...them. It's up to you. That, honestly, probably sounds a little bit better than people that we know really. Okay, yeah, about me. This is going to actually probably bring this conversation down just just a smidge. But I am Ashley Buggy. I'm a military widow, I'm a writer. I just had my first book published, actually this past week. It's called is coming back home. Congratulation. Thank you. So it's been quite the roller coaster of a week, all the emotional highs and low as I write about my husband and my life together. We lived kind of a, want to say, unconventional life, but definitely a life of adventure and travel and we traveled the world together as a couple and with our young kids. We brought kids into the mix. During all of that we lived as a military family in Hawaii's overseas for a little while. We failed with Scooba, dived kind of just lived this really incredible life together and then he passed away in a scuba diving accident when I was six months pregnant with my third child living in Hawaii. So this first book is basically all of that combined into a memoir. And then I also helped my now three children write their story. It's called a Hueie Ho and it's a child's perspective of losing a parent as well. So that'll be out October twenty. And in between all of that I do carryoke sometimes, but I've got a podcast called no bucket list, orhere I interview and talked to explorers and adventures from around the world about living a life with no bucket list. So throwing that thing away and instead of setting goals and taking action to meet those goal since I get to talk to some really cool people and I raised three kids in the mix, so I stay busy. Yeah, you got a couple things going on, it sounds like. Yeah, the funny part is I don't know if this is funny or if I should be embarrassed about it, but people ask you know, who are you? What do you do? And I go through this this list of projects that I'm on and then they're always like and you have three kids, and like, Oh, yeah, I've got three kids, raising children by myself and all of this as well. So yeah, that's me. I would definitely want to have a stranger in the elevator with me for that Karaoke. I love just talking to strangers and getting to know them. Sorry, my neighbor's dog is out there parkings. No Worries, Um, Weve Action Right. This is yeah's a covid home, home style and dog does the same thing. So I hope fully empathize it. Definitely a stranger and I feel like I'm tempted to say my best friend, but she's really, really, really bad at Karaoke and it would just seem miserable for all of us. She knows that, Casey, if you're listening, you know this. So she has fun entertainment. So maybe maybe we'll say Casey, Casey and a stranger. Excellent, excellent. Yeah, I thought that. I think the bad performances have a certain charm, especially if the person embraces it like if they know there's no there's no talent scouts in the room here, like all just trying to have fun, like let's let's embrace it, let's dive in, for sure, for sure, wonderful. So you've, you're now have written two books that are coming out, one Areadya, one coming up. Was this always in the cards? Maybe not the topic itself, but to write books, or was that something that life through too? And you said, all right, yeah, I am one of those people who has done a lot of stuff. I've got this crazy life resume. I'm I've got these little like things that I've done. I've worked in a prison, I've worked on the streets of crown heights and Brooklyn volunteering.

I've worked it. I managed a bank for ten years. I've been an EMT, like. I've done on these things that don't make any sense to anybody, but they've collectively kind of prepared me to be a storyteller of sorts. So No, being an author was never that like I'm going to go to school to be an author. I went to college to be a history teacher. But life happens and the place that I was at when the specific event happened? I needed to write it was it just inside of me. I was consumed and overwhelmed with sadness and emotion and I needed an outlet to get it out. And that happened to just be this blog that I started and I just started pouring out my heart and soul to whoever would read it and got enough encouragement and support along the way to eventually turn that into now a book, and then the kids book and I actually just finished my second book this two weeks ago. It was just finished. Rightness, I know. So yeah, it was never, never like I want to be an author some day. It was I need to get this out of me in the form of writing. And now, now, here I am awesome. Yeah, I think writing is such a Cathartic experience for for anything like it, even, like you were saying, like whoever would read it, even if no one's reading it, like sometimes just getting it out, writing it down or typing it out, if that's your preferred method. I still like the og if I'm like, I don't know if I want anyone to see this, I kind of like I'll do a little writing and then see if I can read my scribbled handwriting later. Yeah, no, seriously, this past week I was signing books at the Book Launch Party. was signing the writing stuff and signing them and even I was like I can't even read what I just wrote. It is a thing. I don't like handwrite. Stuff like this is terrible. That's part of the joy to it's just like what, something about dry cleaning or some like the you can yeah, I can never make it out afterwards. I still this is a extreme tangent, but the very first baseball game I ever went to was a Chicago cubs game. They're playing Pittsburgh pirates and I went down and there's a guy signing autographs. I didn't coognize him, but I'm like it's a major league baseball player, that's cool. And he signed it and I couldn't really make it out. I thought it just said like John Smith or I honestly don't even remember the name, but I remember going through the entire program and I couldn't find the player in there and I was just like this is so illegible that I don't even know who I just got an autograph from. So if someone, I think one person in life has asked me, have you ever gotten an autograph from someone and like Yes, I've gotten more or later, but my very first one, I don't know who it's from and for all I know, it could have been a guy just wearing a baseball jersey, might not be a team water boy. Or Yeah, he's not even a real player, just someone snuck on the field. It's wild. It's wild out there. Now. You mentioned how you don't live with a bucket list, which I think is a delightful way to go about life. Again, was this something where where you like had a bucket list in the past and then you're like, no, life's too short, I'm just gonna live in the moment and set my goals for now and get them done. Or have you always just maybe you saw the movie bucket list, with WHO's in that? Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, I think, and you're just too all like? Not For me. Yeah, yeah, I've always really kind of been adventurous and spontaneous and a terrible planner. In fact, for all my child Les I traveled through Thirty Countries of the world at this point and everyone's like, Oh, you must be really good at planning, like you know, do you make an itinerary where you going to go, when you're going to see and I'm like, like, the reason that I do stuff like that is because...

I don't overthink, I don't over plan, I recognize like this is an opportunity and I need to jump on it now before the opportunity is gone. So I kind of always, at least a my adult years, lived that way, that philosophy. But then when my husband and I were married, when we got orders to move from Washington state to Hawaii, he decided he wanted to sail our we had a thirty six foot yellow sail boat, and he decided he wanted to take the opportunity to sail our boat from Washington to Hawaii. It's a twenty one day journey. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong on that trip, but he and his three crew members made it alive and stories to tell. And while he was on that journey he kept a journal, a blog and he talks. He makes this statement about living a life with no bucket list, that you know life is just to a fleeting. Tomorrow's not guaranteed, so just get out there and takeep panage of these opportunities. And after he passed away, I at his funeral, I handed out his this journal that he kept on this on this voyage, and just those words kind of kept coming up and hearing his voice talk about about it and and the way that we lived our lives together, they just kind of really stuck out to me. So I never had a term for it before, you know, adventures and spontaneous and irresponsible probably at times, but never a coined term, and now now I have one, and now it's just amazing to just say, you know, throw it away, just go like what do you want to do? Don't don't put it on a bucket list, like just say you want to go sail across an ocean. Okay, start planning today, start making your goal. You want to run a marathon, okay, get out and start with a walk around the block. Like just set these goals and start doing it and take action. You touched on something that I think is really cool as like yeah, it's it may have been rough while they were doing it, but they got so many great stories out of it, and I found that to be so true with travel. Like there's plenty of times I can look back and in the moment I was like this sucks, like this this thing I you thought I was going to do got canceled and now I had to like trudge around for a month, or not a month. That's a long time, like, you know, a mile and a half for something to find, to find something else to do. But then that thing ended up being great and it's just like it's I agree, I have a little itinerary, but I'm like what's let's just soon see what's going on here. Yeah, you just have to kind of live in the moment and embrace whatever happens and recognize as long as you're safe and healthy, everything else is just let it happen, like see where it goes, see where it takes you. This path last summer, not the one we just had the summer before. As part of so, I lost my husband in May two thousand and eighteen. I was pregnant. I'll save you all the the details, but if you do want to read my book, it's out there. You can read the details in it. But I knew that I needed I needed an outlet. I needed to have something to look forward to, something to bring myself out of this depression, something to build my confidence back up that I could raise three kids on my own and live this life that I had wanted to live and plan to live and was living prior to losing Brian. And so it ended up being planning this trip through Europe with all three of my children, ages four too, and not even a year old yet. She's got eleven months when we left and we spent two months traveling through eight countries of Europe with all three kids, and you better believe stuff came up along the way. But I was not prepared for our very first touchdown. We flew from New York to Amsterdam. Got To Amsterdam and, as you'll read in my book, I booked our Air BNB and our shuttle for the wrong day. It was Brian's birthday. I was emotional. There's a it was a red eye flight, plus a date change and in whatever head space I was at when I was booking this...

...trip, just oh like missed a whole day. And so we got there and didn't have anyone to pick us up, didn't have a place to go, and it would have been very easy to just get overwhelmed, for frustrated, to Oh my God, I've got two months ahead of this that my friends that were with me. I had two really good friends traveling with me to help with the kids, like they've never left the country before. They should have been like where, who are? What are you? What's happening? Who Are you? Why would you do this? But instead I just kind of walked away and I said, okay, I gotta figure this out. This is not that bad. There's hotels all around us, there's taxi cabs here, people speak English a little bit. It's on me, I can figure this out. And so I gave myself ten minutes, I made phone calls, I figured it out and it was great from there. And it's just, I think, all about like assessing the situation and not getting overwhelmed or frustrated or wrapped up in what's happening, but just really giving yourself the confidence that you can find a way to problem solve and I think a lot of people generally are willing to help, to like if they see your in distress the world, like Hey, can I offer help, like the new directions or anything like that, and it's a very those stressful situations are very good reminder of how compassionate people can be, yeah, for sure, and just how honestly how capable we are as humans. I think we just have a tendency to get caught up in emotion and feelings instead of just rationally thinking through and figuring out ways two problems solved. And so I think you give yourself a minute to like be upset or feel sorry for yourself and then regroup, like Oh, okay, I can figure this out. You just work through it. But yeah, definitely, especially especially overseas, people are so most part so just kind and and definitely willing to lend a hand. I've had crazy things happen overseas and people have opened up their house to us, even with kids. Like yeah, people are amazing, wonderful, wonderful. Yeah, I like I give myself a minute to cuss into the abyss and then get back and be like, okay, this is actually not that bad. Yeah, it's true. Will Salt. Yeah, you've written, well, not two books, and then you also wrote the book with your kids. Did you find there was kind of a different sort of process between writing a, quote unquote, like for adults book and then more of a children's focus book? Yeah, so my two books that I've written their memoirs. The first one is basically mine and my husband's love story. Start to finish, and then the second one starts the day he dies and goes through my journey of the next year, so moving off the island, leaving our home, dealing with organ donation and scuba diving for the first time again, having the baby by myself, moving back to the northwest, and then leads up and includes the trip to Europe that I took with all three kids. Those of those two books. Then the kids book was really born from when he passed away. I had a one and a three year old and was six months pregnant and I just needed help. I needed to know how to talk to my kids about this, what to talk to them about, what they would understand, how to help them process their own grief. When I was in such a state of grief and there was really nothing, no tools out there that I had access to, that I could find that depicted real kids going through real grief talking about real feelings. It was all, you know, fuzzy animals or religious connotations or psychologists or psychiatrists talking to parents instead of kids, and so there was nothing that I could find that let my kids see that there's other kids out there that go through this and they're not alone and it's okay to be sad because you miss your data and confused of why you can't facetime him, you know, and why he's not coming home,...

...and be happy that your family is now all in town and bringing you presents and just that it's a really confusing time. And so it was really important to me that my kids use their grief just like I did, and channel that into something that could help other people. And so, yeah, I used their their questions, their words, their stories then and now through the writing process. I basically interviewed them again to see what they remember and what they felt and what this process has been like for them past few years, and then teamed up with a publisher who helped put an illustrator and in touch and we made the book called the Hueie Ho until we meet again. It's based in Hawaii and it's just really amazing. It's really it's a straightforward book. It talks uses terms like death and dying and I missed dad at and I'm sad and I'm scared, but it's powerful too and it's real and it's going to be in a really amazing tool for for kids going through something like that. Yeah, it sounds tremendously healthful. One of my questions was going to be a few. Did you have input into the illustrations as well, or was that more of like a because I know for me I'm like I can't draw. Yeah, and yeah, it's amazing sing people kind of put the half ideas its life. Yeah, thankfully the publisher, Brown Books Publishing, has been just so tremendously supportive of me and of the kids and of wanting this story told as authentically as possible. And so they were really like you tell us how you want this. Is this okay? Should it be more like this? What about this? And I gave them pictures of our house, of Brian Diving, of the kids, and it is. It is so just accurately displayed and depicted. It is this the kids story in book form. It's crazy and it's crazy and I want to go back to you. Would talked about how you got back in the water for the first time and I know a lot of people maybe would not do that, like that's you know, it's a traumatic event that they might just avoid for the rest of their life. So how did you overcome all that and get back into the water and go scooba diving. I kind of joke, but I don't know if I'm actually joking when I say it is that I'm missing something inside of me that says I should have fear. I definitely after he died, I was like, I'm never going to dive again. I can't dive again. I have seen now firsthand how quickly an accident can happen. I can't leave my kids orphans and let their story be both of my parents died in a diving accident and the only sure fire way to make sure that that's not their story is for me to not dive. That was in my head, but I was also in this just state of deep dark depression, like the worst you could imagine. And as we came up to his one year memorial mark, this company, Living Reef Memorial, had offered to donate a living reef memorial to my family, which is they take ashes or cremains of somebody and they mix it with cement and organic material and they form it into a reef and then they deposit this reef on the ocean floor and it makes a habitat for the local fish and wildlife. And so as soon as this guy reached out to me and said, you know, I'd like to do this as a military family and I'd be honored to donate one to you. I knew that that's what I needed to do for Brian. I knew he wanted to be in the ocean. I you know, I knew I needed to return him to the ocean in this way, and so I had one made for him, and then it just kind of started spinning from there. I thought, well, I really want him to be in Hawaii.

This is like our favorite place on earth, the backdrop of so many of our memories. This is where we first dove together for the very first time, and so I knew I needed to get him back to Hawaii. And then I thought, okay, well, if I'm going to have this reef placed in Hawaii's dive team needs to be there. So I assembled his dive team from all over the United States to fly to Hawaii and be a part of it. I even talked to the guy who had purchased our yellow sailboat from us when we moved to Hawaii and he had offered to bring our family out on the sailboat that Brian sailed over to watch the reef being placed in the water. And so as the days grew closer, I'm talking like a week maybe before we were all supposed to fly out to Hawaii, I just thought there's no way I can sit on this sailboat and just watch these other people place him in the ocean and and not be a part of it and not witness it and not see it and not get to say goodbye in this final resting place. I just I would regret more missing this opportunity, knowing I would never get it back then I would being scared to jump in that water again. And so I called a friend of mine, Eric, that was helping kind of arrange all of the dive team and diving stuff, and I said, Eric, I have this crazy idea. He's like okay. At this point he's like okay, and I said I think I need to dive. I think I think I need to do the dive, and he was like, ash it's up to you. You know, I support you whatever you want to do, but don't feel like you have to do it for us, like just think about it. And I was like okay, I just thought about it. I'm going to do the dive and he was like uh, Ashley, you've got bigger balls than me. I was like, okay, I'm doing it like I just have to do it. And so I message just toll dive team and I said, Hey, this is this is what I want to do. I understand if anyone needs to back out. You know this is going to be a highly emotive dive for all of you. I don't want to add complexity in this other layer to it, but I need to be there to witness it and to say goodbye. And they all said we got you, we're not going to leave your side, hold your hand, we're going to be with you, we're going to stay with you, make sure you get up to your kids. And so yeah, and the one year anniversary we took a dive boat out. My family all flew in from all over the United States, well Brian's family, and they all went out on stagholder boat and they watched as I dove for the first time and and dove the site that he died on sea, tiger wreck, and then we took the boat over and they watched as we placed his leaving reef memorial in the water. That's such a amazing tribute and yeah, I'm sure was like you were saying, just crazy emotional going down and doing that. Yeah, I was. I was literally bawling. So the first the first dive was on this this wreck called the Sea Tiger. That's the wreck he was die diving the morning he passed away, and so his dive team and I went down and somebody at some point had placed a flag line on there, and so we placed an American flag that had been flown over with his living reef memorial. We placed it on the ship, the start of the ship, and then we dove, you know, through the wreck, came back up. I was the last one up. took the flag and surfaced and just like held the flag over my head and I was just bawling. And if there's any scuba divers listening out there, if you ever cried at ninety feet of sea water, it is unreal experience. It was it was insane, but it was perfect. It was exactly what what that memorial dive should have been. And actually the next year. I couldn't fly out there this year because of Covid but I did arrange a worldwide memorial dive and we had ninety divers worldwide who dove wherever they lived or wherever they were able to dive that day and everyone paid tribute to Brian on that day. was really cool. That's very cool. I like that. A dive who is the farthest away from you this year was in Cuba. Oh Wow,...

...yeah, actually, that's not even true. Egypt. Yeah, crazy, slight. Yeah, I guess, slightly farther. Yeah, well, I was thinking. I was thinking like North America, Ish and and his his, actually his one of his dive team members, Barbera, and lives in Cuba and she dove that day. And then I was thinking of people I didn't know but who had set submitted pictures that they participated in the dive, and there was a lot in the UK and one in Egypt. To Awesome, and you said her name's Barbara Ann. Yeah, like the what a great dad. Yeah, love it. Now I'll have bitch boys stuck in my head. Now one of the things I like to do on this podcast is ask a question that you wish you were asked more frequently, and so, look, we've touched on it a little bit, but I'd love to hear any more thoughts on how travel has changed your perspective and your outlook on life. Yeah, I think in so many ways. Honestly, I think just the confidence that it builds in somebody, international or domestic. Honestly, just putting yourself out there and being outside of your comfort zone, outside of the town you live in, having to be self sufficient. I think, especially with international travel, where you don't speak the language, you might not be driving on the same side of the road, you don't know the customs of people, it just forces this sense of confidence that you have to figure it out, it's up to you to make things happen and and I just don't think anything beats the feeling of coming home from a trip and be like wow, I just saw this part of the world that probably not a lot of my neighbors have seen. In fact, this summer, this is getting off a little off topic, but we were in Greece, in Santorini, and we were supposed to go back to Athens and we didn't want to go back to Athens and I thought, okay, well, we're already here. Where else should we go? You know, I want to go somewhere like, let's take these five days were supposed to go back to Athens and go somewhere close by, and so I looked up plane tickets and I found cheap plane tickets to Malta and so I talked to my to traveling companions. Actually had a documentary filmmaker with us at the time too, and I was like, you guys want to go to Malta, and when I was like Oh, what city is malt to end and it's like no, Malta is the country, country of Malta, and just stuff like that. I know those sounds silly, but like opening people's eyes to just this world out there that a lot of people don't get to see is just incredible. And then, on the flip side of that, bringing my kids with me. My kids are two six at this point. They've already been thirteen countries outside of the US. They've been to at least half of the United States states. At this point, like just getting to teach them. You know, we read about places and then we go there and they get to see it and smell it and feel it and see the people and hear the sounds and now they've got context of what that place is like. So as they go on to learn more about it in the history, they have this memory of Oh yeah, I know, I know what that castle in Scotland looks like. Oh, I know what Auschwitz looks like, I know what you know these places they am Frank House looks like, because they've been there and they've had those experiences. So that's what travel is to me. That's it's just all about stretching yourself and being open to experience and seeing how small this world really is if we let it be. Yeah, and I think from the other side of it too, is like you're introducing other people of like what American culture is like. Yeah, as well, which I I always think back to. I studied abroad in China and we went to class one day of high school students of just kind of to sit in and the class and they were all asking us, Oh, is, you know x movie an example of American Life, like as American Pie, like life in America? And I was like, well, not really, like my high school wasn't really like that, but maybe some of them are. But then I was kind...

...of like, I don't really know if any show. I mean this was eleven or twelve years ago now, so I don't know how. I'm sure TV has gotten a little closer and their accuracy of high school, but I was just like, yeah, I don't I don't know if any of these are really good barometers that you should be judging. But also that's probably the most exposure that they've had to any anything American. I mean what's funny is the states are so vast and so diverse. You put someone in Seattle and you put them down in back with Louisiana and they're going to have two totally different perceptions of what America looks like. And New York City and, you know, Texas like same thing. Like it doesn't. It doesn't equate for everyone, even regionally. So yeah, absolutely, and it's funny you say that because we were in actually in a couple of different places. I was shocked by it was myself, my best friend Casey, the one that's terrible at Karaoke, the kids nanny from Boise, Kayla, and then my free kids, and it's two girls and a boy, or my children, and the amount of times that we were asked where are your husband's no men, no men, just just girls, and me finally just being like well, Hudson, he's for he's a boy. He's like, you know, our spokesperson. I guess the questions that we were asked. I wasn't prepared for I guess, and and people being like, oh, people here wouldn't do that, and like people in America wouldn't do it either. I'm just I'm just doing it. That's great. Yeah, I love I love just the thoughts that people will just utter out there. Oh, yeah, yeah, no filter. I'm the same way, though. Whatever. That's great. Yeah, it's good way to love life. It's okay. This is how we learn and how we get to know one another. There's no questions. Off off women's exactly exactly and seggling very nicely. And to another question. It's actually it's really more of just a list. It's top three, which I always like to include in here, and I feel like again, we've touched on several of them. So maybe let's do your top three life experiences that we haven't discussed yet. So, no, no, traverse the world. Now I think I've hit them. I got them off. Yeah, just the relationships that I've built. I joke that I'm like a friends collector. I meet people and I never let them go. It can be twelve years later, because this is actually really accurate, because I met this girl, Angela, in Iceland in two thousand nine and have talked to her like once or twice since two thousand and nine, you know, through instagram and Facebook, and the day of my Book Launch Party she messaged me on instagram. It is like, wow, congratulation, this is eleven years later. I met this girl for like two days. We stayed in the same hostel in Iceland. But yeah, I just I collect friendships and people and I I just love that. So I think relationships in general are just like one of my greatest treasures, one of my greatest life experiences, my relationship with Brian for sure, and family, I guess, in general has taught me more than anything I'll probably h you totally learn throughout my life. And then just this idea of adventure and exposure and having that ship missing. That tells me I should be fearful of certain things and just going for the worst. That can happen as I fail, and that's no worse than just being where I'm at right now. So I would say that's that's probably a weird list, right. Are you thinking, like the time I went to Disneyland or the time I would four hours in line for a ride? That was right. Yeah, no, I think that's wonderful and I that's a great point to this. Throughout the pandemic I've been watching more. The price is right...

...and let's make a deal. And particularly on let's make a deal, there's always times where someone will like pick an item that's like, are you familiar with let's make a deal? I should ask. No, I mean, is that one with the suitcases? No, that's deal or no deal. Let's make a deal. Wayen Brady currently hosts, and essentially he'll call up someone on stage. Everyone dresses up as like an added Gimmick to it, so they're wearing these ridiculous costumes and he'll offer them like hey, you can either take this envelope or hurt number one, and sometimes they're both prizes. But they also have zonks where it's like, oh, it's a Burrito car and it's like not, you can't actually use it and you get you get nothing, exalympt whatever that Shit TV show is called. Voice, though, you. Thank you, you host. Yeah, thank you. I may have dabbled in voice over work before good and there's sometimes where it's like, oh, there hasn't been a Zonk in a while. This is for sure a zongk behind this curtain here. The person is still just like convinced. They're like no, that's the big prize, like I'm going for it, and then they get it and it's like completely worthless and they can't take it home. But then there was one time where the person was like, oh, that's all right, I still got to meet Wayne Brady. I got an experience out of it even though I didn't get anything, and I was like that's a great way to do it, like you're coming. Even if you just walk away with like fifty dollars, that's more than you came into the show and the life story of getting to be on the show. You're on the show, you're on TV, you meet Wayne Brady, you probably get to do some sort of like song and dance, because they're always having people out there. It's it's a good time. It's a good time. So it's a good reminder like hey, what's the worst that can happen? Even if you fail, they're still that's right. My life is the Burrito car. Yeah, really, bring it on. FLASH FORWARD TO TEN YEARS. We're all driving. Burrito comes the hottest new tech for some reason, awesome. Well, Ashley this has been so wonderful, always a joy. And you've mentioned your books a couple of times. But people want to purchase or preorder some time, that nice phase in between. Where can they find you or if they want to get in touch on instagram so they can hit you up in two thousand and thirty one as well, ha ha ha uh, for sure, when I've got my next seventeen projects, that'll y. yeah, my website Ashley buggycom Ash El Yb Uggecom, or I'm on facebook and instagram is Ashley Dot Buggy. Please love to hear from you, guys. Love you to check out my books, my story. My podcast no bucket list is launching October first and that's where I'm at. Lovely. I just realized I should have done a Burrito buggy instead of a Burrito car. Nice word play here. Bang. I don't really have a joke, a bad joke, for the end of the episode. Here's my four year old son's favorite joke. Let's do it. Knock, knock, WHO's there? Boo, Boohoo. No, cry, it's just a joke, but I was already laughing as I said it. Now I'm trying to I also forget, like which ones I've told already, but I'll just do this. This kind of a kind of a travelish one, sort of. But what should you do when you see a space man Park your car? Man? All right, I know it's not good. I'm gonna go tell my four old. Send me one that round. Yes, yes,.

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